CONFESSION

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BELIEF MORE THAN BEHAVIOR

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 3.10.35 PM…FATHER, I desire to be more concerned about my beliefs than my behavior. The enemy would lead me to focus on my behavior—my poor behavior. He is forever reminding me of my sins—trying to convince me that I am “unworthy, unacceptable, sin-sick” who will never amount to anything in Your eyes (ref#14, p 57). Yet, at the same time, he encourages me to work harder at being better.

Your intention is that I confess, forsake the sin, and quickly move on with You. But, I have trouble moving on with You when my attention is on changing sinful behavior. Help me, LORD to dwell on my beliefs and not my behavior.

“I have been justified—completely forgiven and made righteous (Rom 5:1)” Neil Anderson (ref#14, p57). Because of CHRIST’s work sin no longer has dominion over me (Rom 6:14). I have passed out of sin as truly as the dead man has passed out of life (Rom 6:2). I have been placed into CHRIST by Your doing, FATHER (1 Cor 1:30). “…The life I am now living is Christ’s life (Gal 2:20)” (ref#14, p58). “…I am sanctified and am one with the Sanctifier, He is not ashamed to call me brother (Heb 2:11)” (ref#14, p59).

Admittedly, the below is also true:

  • I, along with everyone else, do not understand or seek You (Ps 53:2).
  • I, along with everyone else, corrupt my own way (Gen 6:12).
  • I, along with everyone else, have fallen away and am dishonest (Ps 53:3).
  • I, along with everyone else, do not do good (Ps 53:3).
  • I, along with everyone else, have a heart filled with destruction and do not speak truth (Ps 5:9).

FATHER, continually aid me to always perceive the truth about my perpetual sinful condition then turn immediately to rest with CHRIST on His accomplishments. He is the upright One who instructs and teaches me (Ps 25:8-9). I walk in His faithfulness, not in my faithfulness (Ps 26:3). May I seek joy in CHRIST alone, not in any good feelings I may get by improving my behavior.

ADORATION

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HOLINESS

           “…’Holy, holy , holy is the Lord of hosts;…” (Isa 6:3 ESV)!

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 3.03.06 PM“…what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God” (Luke 16:15 ESV). FATHER, Your abhorrence for ungodly things sobers me when I think about it. I think about it too little, now free me to think about it. Let me review ways of behaving that You positively hate:

“For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those who speak lies; the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man” (Ps 5:4-6 ESV).

“God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.  If a man does not repent, God will whet his sword; he has bent and readied his bow; he has prepared for him his deadly weapons, making his arrows fiery shafts” (Ps 7:11-13 ESV).

“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers” (Prov 6:16-19 ESV).

FATHER, sin is whirling dust—filthy grit in Your eyes. Holiness is what I long for; may I tremble at Your Word lest I offend You (ref#89, p101). Save me, O GOD, that I may give thanks to Your holy name and glory in Your praise (1 Chron 16:35).

“…You are holy, O You Who dwell in [the holy place…” (Ps 22:3 AMP).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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WANTING TO BE WISE

11/15/08

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.59.28 PMYour display of love is enough—a nanosecond is enough to satisfy all my present needs. Your love—it soundly silences natural Bonnie. I am of one mind—able to think toward one direction—toward You.

This is what makes the presence of the SPIRIT so crisp and refreshing—the ability to think in one direction. It’s not having to say, “should I do this or that?” I have only one desire and that’s to run with CHRIST. When the SPIRIT is present there’s no other choice.

The boldness that I long for and need to defend JESUS will come as You allow me more and more to comprehend Your love. I see the progression in our relationship. Your love is too strong to be grasped all at once. You have made me too weak to grasp it. In order for me to gain strength enough for the purpose You have set me apart for, I must over and over storm heaven and desire You come to me.

And I must come without natural Bonnie. Because I so easily revel in Christian pride, natural Bonnie wants to right now run up and bang on Your door again. Natural Bonnie would love to have You reveal Yourself to her more than just a nanosecond.

She loves it so she’d permit the enemy to mimic GOD. What more could natural Bonnie desire than to be able to speak wisely about GOD? It’d be the ultimate in Christian circles—to be a leader in wisdom.

“Give me boldness now. I want to be superior now.” As I write this I see so much of what I’ve written in the past is Christian pride. I thought it was a true desire to know GOD. But it wasn’t. It was only natural Bonnie wanting to be a superior Christian. My exuberance was wanting to learn something new—gather more knowledge for myself.

All my life I’ve wanted to know God because it pleased me to get to know Him. I was attempting to draw close to Him for my benefit. Now, He’s opening a way for me to really know Him and be known by Him. And, it takes my breath away.

SABBATH

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WORK ON THE SABBATH

“Our Lord’s reply…’Though my Father rested on the seventh day from His work of creation, He has never rested for a moment from His providential government of the world, and from His merciful work of supplying the daily wants of all His creatures….I do not break the fourth commandment when I heal the sick, anymore than my Father breaks it when He causes the sun to rise and the grass to grow on the Sabbath’” J.C. Ryle (ref#13, Vol. Three, p277, [John 5:16-23]).

“…the Sabbath was not meant to be a day of total idleness, and of entire cessation from all kinds and sorts of work. ‘The Sabbath was made for man,’ for his benefit, comfort, and advantage” J.C. Ryle (ref#13, Vol. Three, p280, [John 5:17]).

“This Sabbath is kept holy…when men…are taken up, the whole time, in the public and private exercises of his worship, and in the duties of necessity and mercy” Alistair Begg (ref#165, Series: Pathway to Freedom, Sermon#: 1693, “Holy Day or Holiday?” Part Two, October 31, 1993).

“Works of piety are to be performed on the Lord’s Day, yea, on this day especially, as being the proper works of the day. And such are not only those that consist in the internal operations of the soul, as heavenly meditations and spiritual affections; but such also as consist in the external actions of the body, as oral prayer, reading of the Scriptures, and preaching of the Word” Ezekiel Hopkins (ref#184).

“Not only works of piety, but works of necessity—and of great convenience—may also be done on the Lord’s Day. And [these] are such without which we cannot subsist or not well subsist. Therefore, we may quench a raging fire; prevent any great and notable damage that would happen either to our persons or estates…without being guilty of the violation of this day…And not only those works that are of absolute necessity, but those likewise that are of great convenience may lawfully be done on the Lord’s Day: such as kindling of fire, preparing of [food], and many other particulars too numerous to be mentioned” Ezekiel Hopkins (ref#184).

“Another sort of works that may and ought to be done on the Lord’s Day are the works of charity and mercy….God prefers mercy before sacrifice….Works of mercy, therefore, are to be done even to beasts themselves, whatsoever labor may be required to the doing of them. How much more, then, [should we do] works of charity to men like ourselves! [This] charity is to be shown either to their souls or their bodies, for both many times are extremely miserable” Ezekiel Hopkins (ref#184).

JESUS is LORD of the Sabbath (Matthew 12:8). We will not break the Sabbath law if we follow His example of acting responsibly and compassionately.

SUPPLICATION

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CHRISTIAN

[Because we are Christians and live in the world we will always need prayer for our walk and for witnessing to others about CHRIST. Here’s an opportunity to pray for others or even ourselves. Fill their name or your name in the blanks.]

THE OBEDIENCE OF JESUS

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.42.24 PM…FATHER, illuminate CHRIST as ____’s example of how to live by obedience to You. Keep (him/her) from thinking just because (he/she) loves You and has walked many years with You that (he/she) knows what You want and proceeds without consulting You day by day. Your Son sums up His way of life on earth in one verse. Aid ____ to fashion (his/her) life after His.

“I am able to do nothing from Myself [independently, of My own accord — but only as I am taught by God and as I get His orders]. Even as I hear, I judge [I decide as I am bidden to decide. As the voice comes to Me, so I give a decision], and My judgment is right (just, righteous), because I do not seek or consult My own will [I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose] but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me” (John 5:30 AMP).

 

THANKSGIVING

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GOD SIGHTINGS

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.37.45 PM…FATHER, my heart can become excited about what You say about Yourself in Scripture to the point of wanting to share the information with others. My heart can become excited when I personally feel Your touch of love to the point of wanting to share the experience with others. But, FATHER, when You allow me to encounter Your supernatural powers—I DEFINITELY WANT TO TELL SOMEBODY.

When I see You change the direction people are moving and realize I prayed for that change in direction, I become a part of what You are doing in this world. It is more than me telling about Your power, or feeling Your power, or observing Your power, but it is about me actually being in union with You through prayer.

GOD sightings of changed courses or changed hearts—all honoring to Your purposes—makes me anxious to open my mouth and declare Your excellencies (1 Pet 2:9). It moves me from what You do for me to You period.

By being a part of what You are doing makes me aware that I’m not the center of my existence. These GOD sightings keep me on my toes with an expectation of something going on and I don’t want to miss it. FATHER, keep me in wonder, so I’m quick to not move too fast and miss out on some beauty or truth or goodness that I have yet to recognize or understand (ref#58, p 28).

Eugene Peterson writes about the scene at the tomb Easter morning:

“I love the contrast between those Roman guards—insensible and sprawled on the ground, paralyzed by fear—and the two exuberant women kneeling on the same ground, energized by fear. It is the same word in both cases—fear.  But it’s not the same thing. There is a fear that incapacitates us for dealing with God, and there is a fear that pulls us out of our preoccupation with ourselves, our feelings, or our circumstances into a world of wonder. It pulls us out of ourselves into the very action of God” Eugene Peterson (ref#58, p16,17).

FATHER, these “GOD sightings” are like Corrie Ten Boom shaking the hand of the Nazi guard, or the crowd witnessing JESUS healing—happenings that can only be attributed to Your supernatural power. GOD sightings that I see and hear are Your blessings to me just like You blessed the crowds in JESUS day. They had to tell somebody—I have to tell somebody.

“‘O Lord God, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your mighty hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as yours” (Deut 3:24 ESV)?

CONFESSION

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TWO ENTITIES–DEPRAVED FLESH AND THE SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.21.40 PM…FATHER, when I bow my knee and ask You to search me for sin clue me that I set two entities into motion: my natural, depraved flesh searches for sin as well as Your SPIRIT Roy and Revel Hession (ref#100, p83). Flesh brings to my mind unrighteous actions that I’ve committed; the SPIRIT reveals my unrighteous motives.

The search engine of natural flesh only finds obvious willful sins of rebellion—one or two unholy deeds. These are the sins I feel I can correct myself, with better effort.

The search engine of the SPIRIT scans the heart and finds innate rebellion—obstinate roots imbedded in my very character.

The SPIRIT brings my real fleshly self to my attention, while flesh overlooks itself and attempts to change bad actions. Flesh will not believe that its very self is bad. Therefore, FATHER, “I fall short of the purity thou requires because in thinking I am holy I do not see holiness, or, believing I am impotent, I do no more” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p96).

Motivate me to stay on my knees past admitting a few recent sins. For if I consider my confession done I will have only met with my self—my depraved flesh—and not with Your SPIRIT. My flesh will only prompt me to deal with my symptoms not my sickness.

I wish to be obedient to You, FATHER, and wait until a thought enters my mind that requires more than my own efforts to correct.

I thank You, SPIRIT, that You will not only convict, but also correct as You give me solid directions to work beside You for accomplishing the correction. Yes, how I thank You for not only directing but also I thank You for changing my very nature day by day making me able to obey Your commands.

FATHER, in my routine of confession prompt me please to warn myself to not stumble over JESUS, the rock of offense (Rom 9:33) by listening to my flesh and attempting to eradicate sin by working at it in my own strength. Direct me to stumble onto JESUS. For He, working through the SPIRIT, is the only One able to make me righteous. FATHER, increase my faith, not my abilities (Rom 9:30-33).

ADORATION

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CHRIST JUSTIFIES, THEN SANCTIFIES

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.13.32 PM “Thou hast shown me that because thou art mine

I can live by thy life,

be strong in thy strength,

be guided by thy wisdom;

and so I can pitch my thoughts and heart in thee” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p167).

FATHER, CHRIST does not remove the gap between You and me that sin causes, then sit back and expect me to make and maintain a relationship with You, no—He actually transforms me into a creature that brings You joy (ref#35, p289). He makes me suited to fellowship with You. He makes me…

“He [CHRIST] does not only justify his saints from the guilt of sin, but also sanctify and wash them from the filth of sin….He makes us not only accepted, but acceptable” John Owen (ref#35, p 291, [brackets mine]).

He is as a refiner’s fire so whatever in me that is of the SPIRIT, remains and whatever is of my natural self is consumed. CHRIST does not let me be independent. CHRIST never lets me alone to rely on my depraved natural self. In every minute of life He provides new supplies of grace through the SPIRIT. I must have new grace for every new morning. It is He, Himself Who is constantly working in me to will and do His good pleasure (Phil 2:13) (ref#35, p293).

FATHER, I can observe Your magnificence by looking at creation, but Your lovingkindness can only be seen through CHRIST JESUS (ref#35, p185). Give me the countenance to comprehend such adoring provision.

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

08_22_08

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 2.09.40 PMI am excited what the future holds—excited and fearful. My senses are prepared to hear my heavenly FATHER. Am I adequately prepared to be His servant? Samson or Pharaoh did not prepare themselves. GOD just used them. He will do what He will do with me.

But, I am like Moses in that I am intrigued with the burning bush. I’m sure he knew GOD was in that burning bush—the more he looked at it the more he knew. And then he went closer.

He had a call on his life—for 40 years he knew he had a call on his life. I too. The specifics of the call are never known. Faith is the way to walk with GOD.

I don’t want to spend time waxing eloquent here, but I need to set some things in stone. I am to the point where I am aware of the burning bush and GOD has me in a position where I will not refuse to go up and look at it closer.

As I write I will guard this morning quiet time as if my very life depended on it. I will secretly pray that GOD continue to reveal my hidden sin to me. Oh, I am so fearful of pride. I cannot control it. I must place myself in GOD’s hands.

You know, I’m sitting here making a great effort to get everything right. But, as I’m doing it I realize I cannot. This vessel will never be fit to serve my GOD. GOD will use my failures.

Oh that I may just give it all up and run to my FATHER and cling. Oh that He would just break me every morning. Oh that flesh would wrestle with Him and lose—that my suffering would be flesh dying…

Take me and use me LORD, that would bring me my greatest joy.

 

Note:

3/10/16

Wrote the above a long time ago. It was a period when I was spending a lot of time with my heavenly FATHER. Certainly the most beneficial aspect of journal-writing is going back and rereading—and seeing that Jehovah’s truth is changeless.

Oh that I may just give it all up and run to my FATHER and cling. Oh that He would just break me every morning. Oh that flesh would wrestle with Him and lose—that my suffering would be flesh dying…

SABBATH

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ACTIONS TO IMPROVE KEEPING THE SABBATH

“The offence of Sabbath-breaking was one for which there could be no excuse….Transgression of it was therefore a presumptuous sin, and was punished accordingly” Barnes’ Notes (ref#16, [Numbers 15:32]).

“In those days I saw people in Judah treading winepresses on the Sabbath and bringing in grain and loading it on donkeys, together with wine, grapes, figs and all other kinds of loads. And they were bringing all this into Jerusalem on the Sabbath. Therefore I warned them against selling food on that day.  People from Tyre who lived in Jerusalem were bringing in fish and all kinds of merchandise and selling them in Jerusalem on the Sabbath to the people of Judah. I rebuked the nobles of Judah and said to them, ‘What is this wicked thing you are doing—desecrating the Sabbath day?  Didn’t your ancestors do the same things, so that our God brought all this calamity on us and on this city? Now you are stirring up more wrath against Israel by desecrating the Sabbath’” (Nehemiah 13:15-18 NIV).

“The desecration of the Sabbath is first brought into prominence among the sins of the Jewish people by Jeremiah (Jer 17:21-27). It could not but have gained ground during the captivity, when foreign masters would not have allowed the cessation of labor for one day in seven. On the return from the captivity, the sabbatical rest appears to have been one of the institutions most difficult to re-establish” Barnes’ Notes (ref#16, [Neh 13:15]).

“When evening shadows fell on the gates of Jerusalem before the Sabbath, I ordered the doors to be shut and not opened until the Sabbath was over. I stationed some of my own men at the gates so that no load could be brought in on the Sabbath day.  Once or twice the merchants and sellers of all kinds of goods spent the night outside Jerusalem.  But I warned them and said, “Why do you spend the night by the wall? If you do this again, I will arrest you.” From that time on they no longer came on the Sabbath. Then I commanded the Levites to purify themselves and go and guard the gates in order to keep the Sabbath day holy….” (Neh 13:19-22 NIV).

Nehemiah “not only expressed his own dislike of it, but endeavored to convince them that it was a great sin….Those that are jealous for the honor of God cannot bear to see his Sabbath profaned” Matthew Henry (ref#18, [Neh 13:15-22]).

“If reformers will but put on resolution, more may be done towards the breaking of bad customs than they can imagine” Matthew Henry (ref#18, [Neh 13:15-22]). Are we willing to be reformers? Will we vow to not buy or sell on the Sabbath? Can we convince our local church to make that vow? Other churches? Our government representatives?