REASONS FOR DISOBEDIENCE – A SPIRIT CHECK
…FATHER, out of my sin nature that wants only to act like JESUS comes pernicious reasonings and evil intentions (Matt 15:19). FATHER, point out my resistance toward You through the following questions:
- Am I pleased or troubled about situations? Does my countenance depend on my comfort in the situation or do I forget about assessing my feelings and simply obey CHRIST (ref#76, p89)?
- Do I provide for myself instead of letting CHRIST supply my needs? Do I control, rule, serve and love myself and not turn to CHRIST for strength (ref#76, p91)?
- Do I judge myself? Do I settle in despondency dwelling on my faults or believe I am doing well and become puffed up (ref#76, p85)?
- Am I “an evangelical hypocrite who sins more safely because grace abounds, who tells his lusts that Christ’s blood cleanseth them, who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell, for he is saved, who loves evangelical preaching, churches, Christians, but lives unholily” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p72)?
O FATHER, my “every sense, member, faculty, affection is a snare to me”The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p74). Sin is my downfall (Ezek 18:30) and “my greatest snare is myself” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p74).
Thank You for revealing the rebellion lurking in my members. Thank You for cleansing me from these hidden faults as I admit to them. I don’t want sin to control me (Ps 19:12,13). Through this confession turn my face toward You once again so that I may express extravagant love to You.
…FATHER, I tend to create scenarios in my head—planning how I want a situation to turn out. Even though You have regenerated me, giving me a moral character that desires to magnify You, I still carry in me a natural tendency to make my own self the hero of my thoughts. When I make plans I have my self-interest in mind even as I fanaticize about doing great Christian things.
You created me incapable of perceiving how to glorify You. Instead, what You have created me capable of is to grasp the knowledge of JESUS CHRIST and Him crucified (1 Cor 2:2). Presuming I know anything more about Your ways is pure pompousness.
Let me voice the truth to You, FATHER: I stumble through life, moving from pride to pride, oblivious, while You go about Your business. You simply make my blunders work out for Your good. No wonder You cause my premeditations never to happen.
FATHER, I desire to occupy my mind with remembrances of You, since You have hidden Your work from me as You do it. You pass by producing miracles but I don’t recognize them. You are in the earthquake and fire but I only come to know what You’ve done after the fact. As You did for Moses, You show me Your glory after You pass by and remove Your hand that covers me (Ex 33:18-23).
I ask that You erect a “stop” sign in my spirit when I start with premeditation. Empower me to pull my thoughts away from myself and on to reviewing what I have recently seen looking behind You. Open my eyes to the wonderful things CHRIST has done so that my wisdom will perish and my discernment will be overpowered (Isa 29:14) and I won’t occupy my mind with premeditation—seeing how worthless such is.