Yesterday was Friday—just one day before I had to have music down for Saturday worship team practice. My back was hurting so I determined to practice piano before doing anything else. I figured I could do devotions afterward with a sore back. (Actually I was planning to incorporate my book-writing work with devotions and final proofread the 30th week of my draft, which tells you a little about where my heart was in regards to getting into my FATHER’s presence.)
First thing that happened was I leaned wrong and my stool moved away from the piano. I stopped playing and kicked it. I should have realized my anger right them and dealt with it for that stupid stool moves a lot but this was the first time I purposely got up and kicked it.
I had practiced all week and still needed more practice possibly more practice than there was time to practice. Hence, my solution—go at practice with more determination.
But, the chair thing set the tone for the day. Nothing went right. I cemented bad piano playing into bad piano-playing habits.
Last night my husband even prayed that I have a better day today; that clued me I was disrupting him with my attitude. (Imagine that.)
Unfortunately this morning was a repeat of yesterday. I left the piano in a huff and stomped to my office. I would quit the worship team. It seemed the smart thing to do.
As I sat, a thought surfaced suggesting I go to my prayer closet. My answer to it was, “Why?” But, I went. I certainly knew enough not to go back and try to practice piano.
On the shelf was week 30 of my book ready to be proofed. So figured I might as well read through it.
The first three pages contained worthwhile information but they did nothing to influence my hostile heart. Then I picked up the “Confession” page. The title of the entry was “Anger.”
Funny how you never think of your heavenly FATHER being right beside you when you are making a fool of yourself being angry. Not only do I understand once more how my FATHER is involved in every detail of my life but how unholy I am. Suddenly making a favorable impression at worship practice is not top priority.