Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 4.40.12 PMWhy is it I come to this prayer closet, sit down and start crying? It’s worship—or I should say the lack thereof. Again I’m downcast because my keyboard playing this morning failed to draw me into worship.

I can worship silently in my heart and I do and love to magnify the great King of the universe. For reasons unknown, He takes care of me. But worship at the piano feels like I’m alone in a desert.

Why so downcast O my soul? I am sitting in my closet with only hot, burning sand around me—wind whirling sand so I can’t see two feet in front of me. I am so alone with only the sturdy foundation of CHRIST holding me. But, that is enough. This too, will pass.

Today I’m sensing I need taken care of in all areas of my life. The strangest thing is happening. Jerry and I are babysitting a dog for the week. No big deal, right? For some reason I’m out of sorts so I’m blaming it on the dog—that sweet, sweet dog, I love him, but he’s bothering me. I can’t seem to get my life on a path I like.

Journaling always seems to help so I’ve brought the computer into the closet. But, even in the few minutes before getting the computer GOD began His revelation. He didn’t tell me why I was crying. But He impressed upon me that I am out of sorts for a reason. I can blame it on the dog but no matter, I need to be undone, defeated, and convinced I can’t navigate my world by myself. Out of sorts is the perfect ground for Him to speak and me to listen.

As I started saying, worship is the subject that bothers—playing the piano and worshipping specifically. Not long ago I thought I had found the way: play and sing with YouTube videos. But today that didn’t even work.

I know I can do nothing without the SPIRIT and that definitely includes playing piano and worshipping. So, the reason I’m crying is the SPIRIT is nowhere to be found.   Can I beg Him to come? It hasn’t worked so far.

So what is my option as I wait for the SPIRIT? “Purposeful” comes to mind. And I turn my attention to You, FATHER, and review in my mind some activities I read in Scripture about You.

With this journal entry I’ll write down two activities to pursue. It is Your advice to me for learning how to worship with fingers on the piano keys: You say to me, “Recall My excellences and worship in your heart and continue to practice piano. You remind me again that You have previously directed me to consent to everything my piano teacher suggests. So, when the SPIRIT is not present I’ll hunker down, think of You and simply play the piano.