A TRUE PICTURE OF MYSELF
“O MY LORD, Forgive me for serving thee in sinful ways – by glorying in my own strength, by forcing myself to minister through necessity, by accepting the applause of others, by trusting in assumed grace and spiritual affection, by a faith that rests upon my hold on Christ, not on him alone, by having another foundation to stand upon beside thee; for thus I make flesh my arm” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p182).
FATHER, there is no soundness in my flesh (Ps 38:3,7)—that part of me that is under the control of ordinary impulses. I have no health or rest when I pamper my flawed, damaged, evil nature. Loathsome and corrupt wounds sprout because of my foolishness in looking for comfort within my HOLY SPIRIT-less nature (Ps 38:5). I become feeble and crushed, faint and quite worn out from such effort; I groan be reason of the disquiet and moaning of my heart (Ps 38:8).
When I allow my depraved nature to rule me, my iniquities go over my head—like waves of a flood—they become a heavy burden weighing too much for me (Ps 38:4). My heart throbs, my strength fails me and the sparkle in my eyes disappear (Ps 38:10). My pain and sorrow are ever before me (Ps 38:17).
When I sin by making my own carnal-minded, prudent-seeming, decisions I ignite Your indignation, triggering Your discipline (Ps 38:3). Your arrows stick into me, and Your hand comes down on me (Ps 38:2).
FATHER, when, with rebukes, You correct and chasten me for sin, the beauty, vigor, and strength of my “first Adam” nature is marred and destroyed. Anything that is the object of my desire or delight (“strength, beauty, possessions, life itself”) disappears with Your expression of displeasure (ref#16, [Ps 39:11]). Your discipline causes me to see my natural nature as it is—not beautiful or strong.
Drive me to my knees; showcase my wretchedness; make me see how prudent it is to repent and stop relying on my old nature.
“Only in the Lord shall one say, I have righteousness (salvation and victory) and strength [to achieve].…” (Isa 45:24 AMP).