CONFESSION

A TRUE PICTURE OF MYSELF

screen-shot-2016-10-14-at-1-12-27-pm“O MY LORD, Forgive me for serving thee in sinful ways – by glorying in my own strength, by forcing myself to minister through necessity, by accepting the applause of others, by trusting in assumed grace and spiritual affection, by a faith that rests upon my hold on Christ, not on him alone, by having another foundation to stand upon beside thee; for thus I make flesh my arm” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p182).

FATHER, there is no soundness in my flesh (Ps 38:3,7)—that part of me that is under the control of ordinary impulses. I have no health or rest when I pamper my flawed, damaged, evil nature. Loathsome and corrupt wounds sprout because of my foolishness in looking for comfort within my HOLY SPIRIT-less nature (Ps 38:5). I become feeble and crushed, faint and quite worn out from such effort; I groan be reason of the disquiet and moaning of my heart (Ps 38:8).

When I allow my depraved nature to rule me, my iniquities go over my head—like waves of a flood—they become a heavy burden weighing too much for me (Ps 38:4). My heart throbs, my strength fails me and the sparkle in my eyes disappear (Ps 38:10). My pain and sorrow are ever before me (Ps 38:17).

When I sin by making my own carnal-minded, prudent-seeming, decisions I ignite Your indignation, triggering Your discipline (Ps 38:3). Your arrows stick into me, and Your hand comes down on me (Ps 38:2).

FATHER, when, with rebukes, You correct and chasten me for sin, the beauty, vigor, and strength of my “first Adam” nature is marred and destroyed. Anything that is the object of my desire or delight (“strength, beauty, possessions, life itself”) disappears with Your expression of displeasure (ref#16, [Ps 39:11]). Your discipline causes me to see my natural nature as it is—not beautiful or strong.

Drive me to my knees; showcase my wretchedness; make me see how prudent it is to repent and stop relying on my old nature.

“Only in the Lord shall one say, I have righteousness (salvation and victory) and strength [to achieve].…” (Isa 45:24 AMP).

CONFESSION

THE BLOOD

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 3.38.29 PMThe blood of the Lamb cleanses me from sin—not just the first time I come to Him. It is not a once-and-for-all cleansing but the blood of CHRIST continues to flow—continues to cleanse. It saves me all the days of my life.

It is satan’s ploy to draw me to CHRIST for initial repentance and then drive me out in the wilderness so that I use my natural resources to fight sin going forward. Surely the Galatians thought as I, “CHRIST has saved me, now I have to get my act together.” The Apostle Paul accuses them: “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh” (Gal 3:3 ESV)?

“You may struggle against evil as long as you please, but…you will never be delivered from it in any way but by the blood of Jesus.…Your prayers, your repentance, and your tears—the whole of them put together—are worth nothing apart from Him” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, April 23rd AM).

“In all failures in duty…remembering the innumerable tracers of imperfection and sin found upon all you do, deal frequently, closely, with the atoning blood. ‘Wash and be clean’ (2 Kings 5:13)”  Octavius Winslow (ref#61, July 18th). FATHER, remind me to always come.

“If you have ever come to the blood…you will feel your need of coming to it every day. He who does not desire to wash in it every day has never washed in it at all….there is still a fountain opened….Christ alone can give us joy and comfort….let us sprinkle our doorposts fresh with blood, and then, feast on the Lamb, assured that the destroying angel must pass us by” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, April 17th AM).

CONFESSION

 

THE SIN OF FRETTING

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 2.53.19 PM“Worry is a window into the unregenerate soul [Matt 6:32]—worry is the evidence that satisfaction is being sought apart from God—the soul is searching for satisfaction in idols, the fear that an idol may not be available—worry is the evidence of what one is pursuing, of laying up treasure on earth” (ref#141, “For the Love of Christ,” Jan 22nd, 2006).

FATHER, I know that all fretting and worry is caused by calculating without You (ref#7, July 4th). I also know letting the enemy’s thoughts take root in my head is disastrous but they seem to get planted before I realize. I have to experience Your intervention or I will spin in circles reviewing in my head all the carnal and evil suggestions that are there.

“…don’t take the pressure of forethought upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is infidelity, because worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything else that worries us” (ref#7, May 23rd).

In all situations You put in my path the ending is more important than the beginning. My mistake is being at the beginning of a situation and wanting to see a swift and good ending, but You control the situation; I need not be concerned about the outcome.

FATHER, show me the blessings of leaning—leaning on You as the situation unfolds and caring only about Your will in the situation, not a comfortable outcome for me. Worrying is unbelief.

CONFESSION

SATAN STANDS BEFORE GOD AND ACCUSES ME

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 12.57.35 PM…FATHER, it bothers me greatly that satan stands before You and accuses me day and night (Rev 12:10). Even though he hates Your presence, he is willing to appear before You to accuse me (ref#18, [Rev 12:1-11]). And his accusations are true! He lies to me but speaks truth to You. Day and night—continually, he gives me a bad name before You—day and night! How is it that You can 24-7 insist on loving me against all the facts?

This prosecutor, satan, has the evidence to convict me and I have no arguments in my defense for I do go through each day sinning just as he says. It is an absolute necessity to have CHRIST represent me. Impress upon me the seriousness of my inability to stop sinning and the seriousness of depending on CHRIST. By the “blood of the Lamb” You, FATHER, set me free (Rev 12:11). You cast satan out of Your court, crushing his indictments (ref#18, [Rev 12:1-11]).

So, I commit my cause to CHRIST, my Advocate (ref#18, [Rev 12:1-11]). In confession, CHRIST, You are my Savior; and because You are my Savior I gladly make You my LORD.

CONFESSION

ALL OR NOTHING

Screen Shot 2016-08-23 at 3.35.24 PM…FATHER, You stand firm and are immoveable as You refine Your chosen and cast out the wicked (Gal 4:30). There are no gray areas with You. It’s either yes, no—black or white.

You are serious about separating the righteous from the unrighteous. Aaron, in his lenience, allowed the people to break lose into unruliness and worship the golden calf (Ex 32). But, You led Moses to separate the people by saying, “…’Who is on the LORD’s side? Come to me’…” (Ex 32:26 ESV). And, in that situation, You equipped the Levites who came to Moses then to turn and kill the ones who did not come—even making them able to kill their brothers, companions, or neighbors (Ex 32:27). This certainly is a sobering account of Your seriousness about separating Your people from the rest of the world.

Today Your HOLY SPIRIT is creating “in CHRIST’s bride an overwhelming desire for holiness, purity, and revelation” David Wilkerson (ref#138, p165). FATHER, You want “a free people, a remnant totally detached from all that is earthly…” David Wilkerson (ref#138, p164).

You remind me of Your seriousness in “the parable of the pearl of great value.” You have allowed me to find the pearl above all pearls—CHRIST. But, I confess, I do not go out and sell everything that I may be able to fully possess that greatest pearl (Matt 13:45-46).

I satisfy myself with You occasionally. My love for You changes with circumstances. Remind me of Your intolerance to sin. Do I “think for one moment Christ will take to Himself a contaminated, lust-bound bride” David Wilkerson (ref#138, p37)? I need to be more serious about pursuing CHRIST.

I do not want to play with fire. It’s all or none—sold out or not. O LORD, “…please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight….” (Ex 33:13 ESV).

CONFESSION

FELLOWSHIP, NOT KNOWLEDGE

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 4.16.11 PM…FATHER, sin is idolatrous when my heart desires something other than You (ref#5, p66). “This is what sin is—dishonoring God by preferring other things over him, and acting on those preferences” John Piper (ref#93, p12). It is too easy for my life to be “shaped by the satisfaction of cravings, rather than heartfelt commitment and faithfulness” Paul David Tripp (ref#5, p67).

“Let me not strive to understand the infinite, but rather spend my strength in love. What I cannot gain by intellect, I can possess by affection…put far from me any love for the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that would keep me from the Tree of Life” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, Sept 5th PM).

Without the influence of the SPIRIT, I am satisfied with something other than a close relationship with You. Simply collecting facts about You can suffice conscience. FATHER, don’t permit me to know You only on the level of being amazed with Your attributes. Let it be no more amazing myself with You but You amazing me.

CONFESSION

CONVICTION OF SIN

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 12.16.47 PM“My sins, my sins, my Saviour, How sad on Thee they fall” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Dec 7th).

“SEARCHER OF HEARTS, It is a good day to me when thou gives me a glimpse of myself;…I have cause to loathe myself, and not to seek self-honour, for no one desires to commend his own dunghill….sinners bring judgment in thinking sins are small…” The Valley of Vision  (ref#76, p69).

Yet, FATHER, keep me from being disgusted though, with my blunders (ref#7, Dec 7th).

“The only explanation of the forgiveness of God and of the unfathomable depth of His forgetting is the Death of Jesus Christ. Our repentance is merely the outcome of our personal realization of the Atonement which He has worked out for us….” (ref#7, Dec 8th). “The entrance into the Kingdom is through the panting pains of repentance crashing into a man’s respectable goodness” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Dec 7th).

CONFESSION

PUBLIC CONFESSION

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 11.21.15 AM“Be confessing…your sins to one another for your own benefit, and be praying for one another that you may be healed. A prayer of a righteous person is able to do much as it operates” Kenneth S. Wuest (ref#37, p547, [James 5:16]).

FATHER, I sit here righteous because Your Son has clothed me in His robe of righteousness. But, I am a righteous sinner. I am always righteous and I am always a sinner. When I publicly confess I alert others of my activities so they might pray specifically for my spiritual welfare.

My brothers and sisters, being outsiders looking in at my sin, can pray more wisely than myself. Oh, that they might be true servants of You and be fervent in their prayers for me.

FATHER, make me see the goodness of public confession—how it maintains my communion with my fellow saints. After all, we are all the same—sinners huddled under the Cross of JESUS.

Remind me that the ones I judge as good Christians and the ones I judge as weak and backslidden are, like me, all in constant need of the forgiveness of JESUS. We simply are all the same—needing JESUS.

Although confession humbles me, it also makes me watchful. Being accountable keeps me from plummeting into habitual ruts of sin. It is beneficial to me that nothing is hidden from You; it is also beneficial to me if nothing is hidden from my fellow Christians.

Confession puts me on equal ground with my brothers and sisters. In no way am I better than anyone else. Sinning less is still sinning. One tiny sin makes the cross of CHRIST a necessity.

Confession teaches me to mourn as well as to celebrate Your goodness with my spiritual family. Transparency keeps me humble and conscience-clear. Once I confess, may I hear an assurance of pardon from my listeners. May they speak the words of Your heart.

FATHER, my desire is that we continually preach the Gospel of Your Son to one another. May we see You as the Giver and us as the receiver. May we never assume we have anything to give each other except to give You.

CONFESSION

DEFINING THE “FLESH”

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 6.29.39 AM“Much of our distress as Christians comes not because of sin, but because we are ignorant of the laws of our own nature” Oswald Chambers  (ref#7, March 22nd).

The Bible terms our born-with natural nature, “flesh” (Rom 8:8). “Flesh” denotes “sinful propensities and passions” of my entire nature Barnes’ Notes (ref#16, [John 3:6]).

This “flesh” urges me to carry out its “sinful passions.” I am the host this sinful nature works through. But as a Christian, You, FATHER have implanted another nature in me—Your nature, Your SPIRIT. He not only overpowers my sinful nature but also allows me to be the host of You accomplishing Your will through me.

CHRIST’s activity on the cross has given me the ability to render useless my fleshly nature, not simply the sins of my flesh. But I am too often concerned with the sins. I’m “occupied with today’s anger, tomorrow’s jealousy, or the day after tomorrow’s strife” Watchman Nee (ref#33, p96).

FATHER, please sensitize me to focus on, not individual sins but denying the urgings of my fleshly nature. It’s a given that my sin and lust keep me away from You, but also remind me that this fleshly nature is a totally selfish nature. Anything I do for my profit, or to make me look righteous, and anything I do out of what I deem my duty to You—all these actions are sin also (ref#35, p255).

Attempting to follow You without denying the flesh is the foundation of failure (ref#33, p116). Whenever I lack trust that is flesh in action (ref#33, p114). Flesh is impatient. It will resist waiting on You, FATHER. It also will not have faith enough to trust the SPIRIT. Flesh will make its own plans never having “the sense of utter dependency” Watchman Nee (ref#33, p114).

FATHER, I ask You give me strength to upstage my flesh so I may sit before You experiencing my dependence upon You. I praise You for the grace You have given me to put into practice the death of my fleshly nature. My most concern is always to recognize and render useless this “flesh.”

CONFESSION

I SIN KNOWINGLY BUT NOT WILLFULLY

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 5.19.25 AM…FATHER, I grieve especially over the sins I commit knowing full well I’m disobeying You. Can You forgive me for such in-Your-face, blatant, rebellion?

The book of Leviticus describes sacrifices for sins. But the sacrifices are only for unintentional sins (Lev 4:2). The writer of Hebrews says: “…if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” (Heb 10:26 NKJV).

Yet, I, as well as other Christians, knowingly sin—even King David prayed that You keep him back from “…presumptuous sins…(Ps 19:13 NASB). FATHER, help me understand that I may sin knowingly, as King David did but that does not mean I sin willfully. Sinning willfully means sinning willingly. Sinning willingly means I sin out of my own glad choice with no intention of repenting. Adam Clarke’s Commentary brings meaning to Hebrews 10:26:

“A man may be overtaken in a fault, or he may deliberately go into sin, and yet neither renounce the Gospel, nor deny the Lord that bought him.” Adam Clarke’s Commentary (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]). But, “if we sin willfully] If we deliberately…renounce the profession of the Gospel and the Author of that Gospel,…the…case must be utterly without remedy.” (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]).

When I do sin deliberately, my “case is dreary and dangerous but it is not hopeless; no case is hopeless but that of the deliberate apostate who rejects the whole Gospel system,…” (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]). And, all thanks to You, FATHER, that You have cemented in my heart never to reject the Gospel.

How I thank You, FATHER, that You give me the grace of confession. Yes, You have put in my heart the desire to repent. You have closed the gate behind me. Because You have made me Yours, I will never again sin willfully.

Though FATHER, drive me to fear sinning against You deliberately. Such actions remove me from Your presence. My iniquities always make a separation between You and me. My sins hide Your face so that You do not hear me (Isa 59:2).

LORD, I take hold of Your grace of repentance and use it to bring myself back into Your presence. And, FATHER, during this activity of repentance, sober me into remembering that even though I will never sin willfully, sinning knowingly is dreary and dangerous.