CONFESSION

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SPIRIT CHECK

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 6.01.39 PM“Let me faithfully study my character, be willing to bring it to light, observe myself in my trials, judge the reality and degree of my grace, consider how I have been ensnared or overcome” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p84).

FATHER, “sin is…my viper born in my birth, alive all my life, strong in my character, dominating my faculties, following me as a shadow, intermingling with my every thought…” (ref#76, p41). I recognize it is only Your compassion that I am not consumed (ref#76, p39). Therefore I wish to be searched to find and confess the wicked ways in me (Ps 139:23-24).

  • Have I flattered You, FATHER, with only my lips (ref# 76, p39)?
  • Do I set before myself some pleasure or profit or even striving for Your acceptance (ref#35, p150)?
  • Do You live in my thoughts (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I covet by hoarding, improvidently squander, and not consecrate everything to You (ref#76, p87)?
  • Do I go this way then that with various thoughts and ways, dreaming in my imaginations (ref#35, p150)?
  • Do I resist “rebukes of conscience, admonitions of friends, leadings of providence” (ref#76, p192)?
  • Am I settled yet experiencing peace and resting in Your “assurance of everlasting blessedness” (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I ungratefully receive Your benefits—forgetting to praise and thank You (ref#76, p192)?
  • Have I really found CHRIST who will never grieve or trouble me (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I misuse my faculties, neglect opportunities, use words ill-advised (ref#76, p180)?
  • Do I really know You in Your “excellency and desirableness” (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do You have Your due place in my heart (ref#35, p151)?
  • Are You my all in all (ref#35, p151)?

“I repent of my folly and inconsiderate ways, my broken resolutions, untrue service, my backsliding steps, my vain thoughts” (ref#76, p180).

ADORATION

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COMFORTS OF THE SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.51.07 PM…FATHER, the SPIRIT is my Comforter—comforting me as I become aware of my sin. Without the SPIRIT, satan and the law could accuse me of being an object of Your hatred because I am always sinning. But the SPIRIT bears witness with my spirit that I am Your child (Rom 8:16). Afflictions, too, would become overwhelming and I’d learn to despise hard times if it was not for the SPIRIT convincing me of Your good reasons for such circumstances (ref#35, p408).

The SPIRIT also comforts in the whole course of my obedience. Without the consolations of the SPIRIT, Christian duties would puff me up with pride. Prosperity would make me carnal and sensual and weaken me when adverse trials come. I would not be interested in the church’s problems or successes (ref#35, p408). On my own I would find no need to lean on You.

Without the SPIRIT’s intervention within, I “shall have wisdom for no work, peace in no condition, strength for no duty, success in no trial, joy in no state—no comfort in life, no light in death.” John Owen (ref#35, p 408) FATHER, I am able to continue in this world because the SPIRIT comforts me by Your love.

“Be pleased to live and move within me, breathing in my prayers, inhabiting my praises, speaking in my words, moving in my actions, living in my life, causing me to grow in grace” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p160).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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TAKING A TIMEOUT

3/29/2016

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.46.35 PMThe absolute last-resort activity when I’m about to lose it is reading. If I rushed past reading I’d run out the door and keep running until I moved myself right out of society. I would make a total fool of myself and have to apologize to many many people if I cared to reenter the civilized world. People would never look at me the same but they would forgive me. I know. I did the above once and I had to apologize to eleven people. It was a long long ago and I have moved on in the world convinced that people have forgotten my actions and me.

Through my long life GOD has been quite merciful to me by giving me the desires of my heart that mainly has included creating objects to glorify Him. I have been always busy and have had only fleeting moments of boredom.

But I have been in this situation perhaps a month now where I am nearing the end of one project and have a specific project in mind for the next. Even though GOD is stringing me along with ideas here and there, the ideas are not creating a whole. I feel fragmented—even tossed and turned. As each day goes by I feel more desperate for a conclusion and a starting place for this next project.

Writers block is when one faces a blank page. I feel a blank page in front of me but it is not a white blank page but a black page. The enemy craftily puts in front of me the image of complete darkness where I am commissioned to do nothing.

That fear was with me when I woke up this morning. However I finally got out of bed by deciding I needed to practice to perfection my upcoming piano lesson piece. I figured I could at least do that. NOT.

I couldn’t count the intro right. That’s when I turned off the keyboard and went to the back of the house to find something to read. The book that won out was my devotional. It starts out with “Notes” which don’t pertain anymore to the devotional, but my eyes fell on that page:

Through experience, when the SPIRIT is present everything is spiritual; I find joy in everything I read in this devotional. But some days I find, and you the reader will find, these prayers just lie flat on the page and are no help or worse they seem hypocritical, self-righteous, and pious. If this is the case know that you have stepped away from the SPIRIT.

Don’t go any further in reading. You need a “timeout”—time to get yourself again willing to submit to GOD. When that time comes (for me that could be hours) go before GOD and honestly discuss your feelings. You need to repent—ask forgiveness for your attitude—attest to Him that you approve of what He is doing in your life—beg Him to bring joy into your heart again. In other words, be right with GOD, and these prayers will always be a pleasure to pray.

It’s easy to forget the LORD shall do whatever pleases Him and we are responsible to act in support of Him.

I took a timeout. After crying a bit before my GOD, He suggested I scrap the written intro to the song and compose a new one for my piano lesson piece. I’m about to go back to practicing again but, GOD needs credit for He has opened my eyes once again in the valley and given me a path to take to the mountaintop.

I know I will learn the piano song. And also I know GOD will lighten my darkness. He is teaching me to wait for Him. Something I have done very little of in my life and know I don’t handle waiting well.

How I praise Him for encouraging me when I am about to crash myself. He knows just how much I can take from the enemy and from my weak flesh. I am going to make it to the end because He wills it. And, I may even someday be a happy clam satisfying the desires of my heart once again with a new project.

SABBATH

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A SONG FOR THE SABBATH DAY

“The proper work of the Sabbath is praising God” Matthew Henry (ref#18, [Ps 92:1-6]). GOD has blessed the Sabbath and we keep it holy by blessing Him (ref#18, [Ex 31:1-11]).

Our GOD shows forth His lovingkindness and faithfulness. “Being convinced of his glorious attributes and perfections, we must show them forth, as those that are greatly affected with them ourselves…” Matthew Henry (ref#18, [Ps 92:1-6]).

“We cannot comprehend the greatness of God’s works, and therefore must reverently and awfully wonder at them, and even stand amazed at the magnificence of them….From a joyful remembrance of what God has done for us we may raise a joyful prospect of what he will do, and triumph in the assurance of it…” Matthew Henry (ref#18, [Ps 92:1-6]).

 

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord,

to sing praises to the Most High.

It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning,

your faithfulness in the evening,

 

You thrill me, Lord,

with all you have done for me!

I sing for joy

because of what you have done” (Ps 92:1,2,4 NLT).

SUPPLICATION

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PROVISIONS

[We all know someone who is dealing with financial problems. Here is an opportunity to pray for them. Fill their name in the blanks.]

MAKING THE LITTLE MUCH

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.21.06 PM“…remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth,… (Deut 8:18 ESV).

GOD’s “primary way of provision is through work…He has given life, energy, resources, and opportunity. His primary way to care for those who cannot work is through the generosity of those who are able to work” John MacArthur, Jr. (ref#36, p391).

FATHER, assist ____ with (his/her) ability to acknowledge (his/her) indebtedness to Your goodness. Give (him/her) peace for the daily provisions You provide. Keep (him/her) from being ungrateful, for where there is no increase You make little much simply by causing ____ to be content with her present possessions (ref#34, Oct 26th AM). Hold ____ in contentment as You provide a worker to share resources with (him/her).

THANKSGIVING

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TRUSTING IN THE HOLY SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.06.25 PM“He breathes the mind and life of Christ in me, so that I live as He did, in and for the Father’s love” Andrew Murray (ref#19, SEVENTH LESSON).

“…I trust the Holy Spirit. He has begun to deliver me from my innate sins, and I trust Him to drive them all out. I trust Him to curb my temper, to subdue my will, to enlighten my understanding, to check my passions, to comfort my despondency, to help my weakness, to illuminate my darkness. I trust Him to dwell in me as my life; to reign in me as my King; to sanctify me wholly, spirit, soul, and body; and to take me up to dwell with the ‘saints in light’ (Col 1:12) forever” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, Oct 7th PM).

FATHER, thank You that the SPIRIT abides with me forever—permanently—even though I may not be sensible to His presence—even though He may withhold His comfort or suspend His influence for a while when I am walking carelessly. He may even permit indwelling corruptions for a moment but even when He breaks my heart, He always binds it up. He may fill me with godly grief but then thanksgiving (ref#61, Aug 26th).  SPIRIT, thank You; I rely on You.

CONFESSION

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TOTALLY DEPRAVED DOES NOT MEAN TOTALLY CORRUPT

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 4.54.51 PM…FATHER, R.A. Torrey gives me reason to check myself to see if my good works come from my relationship with JESUS or my depraved nature. He says:

“The doctrine that man is totally depraved does not mean that he is totally corrupt….while seeking to please himself, a man may do things that are morally attractive and beautiful….He is as truly depraved as the man who chooses the immoral things, but his tastes are not as corrupt…” R. A. Torrey (ref#30, p62,63).

John Owen further identifies depravity:

“…persons who know not Christ…would spin a holiness out of their own bowels; they would work it out in their own strength. They begin by trying endeavors; and follow it with vows, duties, resolutions, engagements, sweating at it all the day long….” (ref#35, p333).

The Apostle Paul laments over his sisters and brothers of Israel who spin their own holiness. He says:

“I know what enthusiasm they have for God, but it is misdirected zeal.  For they don’t understand God’s way of making people right with  himself. Refusing to accept God’s way, they cling to their own way of getting right with God by trying to keep the law” (Rom 10:2-3 NLT).

It can be easy to find pride in being moral—self-ordering activities toward righteousness. Take my eyes off CHRIST and I’ll fall into striving to be good. I know my righteousness is only through the SPIRIT by faith (Gal 5:5). FATHER, I want to stay with the SPIRIT.

Bring me to examine my own enthusiasm for You. Am I joyful and content being in fellowship with CHRIST and enthusiastic about His agenda? Or is it satisfying enough to just choose and accomplish good works. Help me search my heart, LORD, do I really love You or do I simply love to appear righteous?

ADORATION

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A Sure Foundation

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 4.46.07 PM“…thus says the Lord God, Behold, I am laying in Zion for a foundation a Stone, a tested Stone, a precious Cornerstone of sure foundation; he who believes (trusts in, relies on, and adheres to that Stone) will not be ashamed or give way or hasten away [in sudden panic]” (Isa 28:16 AMP).

FATHER, I hold You in reverence for the provisions You have gifted me. You give and take away and I stand or fall, but when I fall it is into the arms of CHRIST.

When I hold CHRIST’s hand catastrophes cannot separate us (ref#15, [Isa 28:16]). I honor You, FATHER, for the contentment You bring through CHRIST. CHRIST is so right for me, I never think of looking elsewhere for comfort (ref#67, [Isa 28:16]). Rest comes by just this reminder that I have CHRIST not only supporting me but also willing and able to move me through situations I see impossible.

CHRIST is the cornerstone of preciousness—“a stone of tested solidity to bear the vast superstructure of man’s redemption” (ref#17, [Isa 28:16])—including all my weaknesses. When You make my life unsteady with various trials my stability can be regained when I rest on CHRIST. FATHER, I treasure Your provided Cornerstone.

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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2 POINTS 2 REMEMBER

3/12/2016

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 4.40.12 PMWhy is it I come to this prayer closet, sit down and start crying? It’s worship—or I should say the lack thereof. Again I’m downcast because my keyboard playing this morning failed to draw me into worship.

I can worship silently in my heart and I do and love to magnify the great King of the universe. For reasons unknown, He takes care of me. But worship at the piano feels like I’m alone in a desert.

Why so downcast O my soul? I am sitting in my closet with only hot, burning sand around me—wind whirling sand so I can’t see two feet in front of me. I am so alone with only the sturdy foundation of CHRIST holding me. But, that is enough. This too, will pass.

Today I’m sensing I need taken care of in all areas of my life. The strangest thing is happening. Jerry and I are babysitting a dog for the week. No big deal, right? For some reason I’m out of sorts so I’m blaming it on the dog—that sweet, sweet dog, I love him, but he’s bothering me. I can’t seem to get my life on a path I like.

Journaling always seems to help so I’ve brought the computer into the closet. But, even in the few minutes before getting the computer GOD began His revelation. He didn’t tell me why I was crying. But He impressed upon me that I am out of sorts for a reason. I can blame it on the dog but no matter, I need to be undone, defeated, and convinced I can’t navigate my world by myself. Out of sorts is the perfect ground for Him to speak and me to listen.

As I started saying, worship is the subject that bothers—playing the piano and worshipping specifically. Not long ago I thought I had found the way: play and sing with YouTube videos. But today that didn’t even work.

I know I can do nothing without the SPIRIT and that definitely includes playing piano and worshipping. So, the reason I’m crying is the SPIRIT is nowhere to be found.   Can I beg Him to come? It hasn’t worked so far.

So what is my option as I wait for the SPIRIT? “Purposeful” comes to mind. And I turn my attention to You, FATHER, and review in my mind some activities I read in Scripture about You.

With this journal entry I’ll write down two activities to pursue. It is Your advice to me for learning how to worship with fingers on the piano keys: You say to me, “Recall My excellences and worship in your heart and continue to practice piano. You remind me again that You have previously directed me to consent to everything my piano teacher suggests. So, when the SPIRIT is not present I’ll hunker down, think of You and simply play the piano.

SABBATH

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A DAY OF REJOICING

“’If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;…’” (Isa 58:13-14 ESV)

“[And call the Sabbath a delight] This appropriately expresses the feelings of all who have any just views of the Sabbath….They esteem it a privilege, not a task, to be permitted once a week to disburden their minds of the cares, and toils, and anxieties of life. It is a ‘delight’ to them to recall the memory of the institution of the Sabbath, when God rested from his labors; to recall the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, to the memory of which the Christian Sabbath is consecrated; to be permitted to devote a whole day to prayer and praise, to the public and private worship of God, to services that expand the intellect and purify the heart” Barnes’ Notes (ref#16, [Isa 58:13]).

“…now that we are His, the first day of the week…has become a feast! We look with eager delight for Sundays to come round one after another—Charles Spurgeon (ref#182).

“It is a day of rejoicing: God made it to be a joyful day to the Church…They that receive…the Sabbath aright, call it a delight and honorable (Isa 58:13-14). It is a pleasant and a joyful day to them; it is an image of the future heavenly rest of the Church…” Jonathan Edwards (ref#186).