“There is never a moment, even the holiest, when we are not exposed to the fiery darts of the adversary. The onset is often at a moment when we least suspect its approach; seasons of peculiar nearness to God…” Octavius Winslow (ref#135, Sept 7th).
I started tearing up—surprising myself. “What’s that about?” I’m walking through this day with GOD beside me. I have made a mental note of that since I sat down at the computer to operate the slides to the worship songs.
True, the slides are not correct and I’m trying to make them right with no success, but that’s not disturbing me. What’s disturbing me is how I can sit beside GOD and feel awful. It appears no one else is struggling as I look out over the room—the dark cloud hangs over my head. Yet, GOD sits beside me and gives me the day He has ordained for me—a day I should be rejoicing in because He has given it to me in love. What’s happening seems like an oxymoron.
After the drive home and lunch consumed, I settled into reading. Again, like a previous Sabbath, I re-read a portion where I left off in a devotional:
“…just as the night of woe sets in, filling you with trembling, anxiety, and fear, a scene of overpowering glory suddenly burst before the astonished eye of faith. The glory of God as your Father has appeared; the character of Jesus as a loving, tender Brother has unfolded; the Spirit as a Comforter has whispered; your interest in the great redemption has been revealed; and a new earth scented with a thousand sweet smells, and a new heaven resplendent with countless suns, has floated before your view” Octavius Winslow (ref#135, Sept 4th).
NOT! Excuse me but I’m still in the “night of woe.” But wait…
I’m smiling now. Bonnie, stop trying to find a way to feel better. GOD is GOD; He does as He pleases. Today and always He walks beside me even though He chooses to move me into frustrating circumstances where the enemy has his way with me. What He did this morning and what He is doing now is providing me the strong faith to not be shaken by circumstances. So, I’m having a bad day, so what? I am standing on a foundation that does not move. Nothing is able to separate me from the love of GOD (Rom 8:39).
NOTE: I have reread this entry and looking over the Octavius Winslow quote again makes me inclined now to say, YES!
“Let us trust this love. Trust it when veiled, trust it when it threatens to slay, trust it when it seems to frown, trust it even when we cannot trace it” Octavius Winslow (ref#135, Sept 6th).