Author: bonniefaurote

THANKSGIVING

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THANKS FOR THE LITTLE THINGS

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 5.27.07 AM…FATHER, I thank You that not only do You draw me, but You draw close to me. You do not send another; You attend to me Yourself. It’s the tiny things You do that shows Your willingness to be amazingly intimate. You know every detail of my life (ref#7, June 3rd).

You look on the earth and it quakes; You touch the mountains and they smoke (Ps 104:32); You speak and the heavens tremble. The whole earth shudders at Your presence (Ps 114:7).

Yet You know what I’m thinking and I’m never out of Your sight (Ps 139:2-3). You even know everything I’m going to say before I say it (Ps 139:4).

You are constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to You. You are constantly searching me in order to strengthen my heart. You show Yourself strong on my behalf (2 Chron 16:9).

When I take a deep breath it moves Your heart; my whisper can turn Your head toward me; You respond when You hear my prayer (ref#34, Sept 28th AM). Thank You for Your attentiveness to little things. May You rejoice in Your works; may Your glory endure forever (Ps 104:31).

CONFESSION

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I SIN KNOWINGLY BUT NOT WILLFULLY

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 5.19.25 AM…FATHER, I grieve especially over the sins I commit knowing full well I’m disobeying You. Can You forgive me for such in-Your-face, blatant, rebellion?

The book of Leviticus describes sacrifices for sins. But the sacrifices are only for unintentional sins (Lev 4:2). The writer of Hebrews says: “…if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” (Heb 10:26 NKJV).

Yet, I, as well as other Christians, knowingly sin—even King David prayed that You keep him back from “…presumptuous sins…” (Ps 19:13 NASB). FATHER, help me understand that I may sin knowingly, as King David did but that does not mean I sin willfully. Sinning willfully means sinning willingly. Sinning willingly means I sin out of my own glad choice with no intention of repenting. Adam Clarke’s Commentary brings meaning to Hebrews 10:26:

“A man may be overtaken in a fault, or he may deliberately go into sin, and yet neither renounce the Gospel, nor deny the Lord that bought him.” Adam Clarke’s Commentary (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]). But, “if we sin willfully] If we deliberately…renounce the profession of the Gospel and the Author of that Gospel,…the…case must be utterly without remedy.” (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]).

When I do sin deliberately, my “case is dreary and dangerous but it is not hopeless; no case is hopeless but that of the deliberate apostate who rejects the whole Gospel system,…” (ref#15, [Heb 10:26]). And, all thanks to You, FATHER, that You have cemented in my heart never to reject the Gospel.

How I thank You, FATHER, that You give me the grace of confession. Yes, You have put in my heart the desire to repent. You have closed the gate behind me. Because You have made me Yours, I will never again sin willfully.

Though FATHER, drive me to fear sinning against You deliberately. Such actions remove me from Your presence. My iniquities always make a separation between You and me. My sins hide Your face so that You do not hear me (Isa 59:2).

LORD, I take hold of Your grace of repentance and use it to bring myself back into Your presence. And, FATHER, during this activity of repentance, sober me into remembering that even though I will never sin willfully, sinning knowingly is dreary and dangerous.

ADORATION

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REGENERATION AND SANCTIFICATION

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 5.09.20 AM…FATHER, I desire to understand the mechanics of Your salvation (as much as You permit me to know)—how You have redeemed me and what the stipulations are of Your covenant with me.

You began by drawing me (John 6:44); I never sought You on my own—for I was unable (Rom 3:10,11). “Regeneration is a momentary act, bringing a person from spiritual death to life. It is exclusively God’s work” The Reformation Study Bible (ref#56, p1650).

“Man, by his fall into a state of sin, hath wholly lost all ability of will to any spiritual good accompanying salvation: so as, a natural man…is not able, by his own strength, to convert himself…” (The Westminster Confession of Faith, Ch. IX:3).

FATHER, through Your drawing I realized my sins were a roadblock between You and me (Isa 59:2) and so I repented of them (Isa 59:20), believing CHRIST’s shed blood saved me from Your wrath (Rom 3:25).

I became a brand new person inside. My new life began (2 Cor 5:17)—a life fashioned after You, renewed from the inside and able to work itself into my conduct as You accurately reproduced Your character in me (Eph 4:24). This metamorphosis is called, “sanctification” and it will continue until the day I die (Phil 2:12).

“According to the Westminster Shorter Catechism (Q. 35), sanctification is ‘the work of God’s free grace, whereby we are renewed in the whole man after the image of God, and are enabled more and more to die unto sin, and live unto righteousness’” The Reformation Study Bible (ref#56, p1650).

From now on I have a choice to sin or not to sin since regeneration releases me from the bondage of continual sin (2 Cor 7:1). But, as I go through sanctification I have two contrary urgings (Rom 8:6-7): (1), urgings from the SPIRIT, and, (2), urgings from my depraved nature.

The SPIRIT sustains my new life but my original fallen instinct (the sin of my flesh) still has the ability to rise to obstruct my Christlike desires (Rom 7:18,19).

“Sanctification is…dependent on God’s continuing action in the believer, and consisting of the believer’s continuous struggle against sin….Sanctification is…human effort dependent on God” The Reformation Study Bible (ref#56, p 1650) (underlining mine).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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READING MY OWN WRITING

4/13/2016

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 5.01.25 AMI was succeeding in keeping myself from thinking about an upcoming event because it required a great deal of unfamiliar organizing that might as well not be done until closer to the time of it. I had volunteered for something I know I’m not good at but was feeling pretty proud of myself for refusing to maul the “what ifs” over and over in my mind.

Less than a week ago I found out a few things that will make the situation harder for me. No, actually impossible for me. So I’ve spent most of the last few days hollering “help” to my FATHER.

And, GOD has answered. My FATHER has brought to my mind helpful ideas and I’m making a point to remember them. Yes, I was keeping away the cloud that so wanted to settle over my head. Until I lost something that I deemed essential for success.

Seems the still yet shaky foundation I, with GOD, was building collapsed.   It was enough to make me cry whenever I thought about the fast approaching situation. And I thought and cried back and forth all afternoon. I knew GOD would not leave me alone in the venue but the erosion had started.

I began to turn away from clinging to my FATHER to become more concerned about myself. This took the form of accepting thoughts about how miserable I was feeling. So I began to cling to ideas that would comfort me in the situation. I was engaging in the “poor me” thing and not even realizing it. Until…

I was interrupted by an email alert on my phone. It was a reminder that someone had commented on my today’s post. I would have to moderate it (accept it) before it would show up on my blog site.

Since I wrote the post years ago and scheduled it on my blog site months ago, I had no idea what was posted for today. I would have to read my own post to understand the comment.

The post was titled, Discipline, but it might as well have been called, Bonnie, Your Drifting, Let Me Call You Back to the Truth. Below is a portion of the post:

FATHER, I will praise You because You discipline me in just measure (Jer 30:11). You promise I can always endure whatever circumstances You put me in (1 Cor 10:13). You are with me to save me (Jer 30:11). You give me power to keep myself calm in the days of adversity (Ps 94:13). Enduring the disciplinary trial proves my faith and produces perseverance and steadfastness and patience (James 1:3).

FATHER, commit to my understanding the fact that You issue discipline because You love me (Heb 12:6). When I go astray You call me back to You with discipline. Your steadfast love will not depart from me (2 Sam 7:14-15). You will not be false to Your faithfulness, nor violate Your covenant or alter the word that goes forth from Your lips (Ps 89:33-34). You chasten and scourge me because You cherish me (Heb 12:6).

Needless to say, I have stopped crying.

SABBATH

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FINDING GOD’S PRESENCE

“It is man’s sinful nature which makes the Sabbath and its proper observance so hateful to him. The Sabbath calls upon us to discipline our lives” C. E. Hunter (ref#171).

GOD sometimes helps us get into His presence but we have to look for Him. Bishop J. C. Ryle suggests, “Arrange your time on Sunday so that you may have leisure for quiet, sober meditation on eternal things. Avoid the company that would lead you to talk only of this world” (ref#167).

It helps immensely to remind ourselves of how truly in desperate need of GOD’s help we are. All during each day we can pray without ceasing, knowing He is there to help us fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants, but Sunday affords opportunity to evaluate our last week’s activities.

There are weekly activities that cause barriers between our FATHER and us. It is our first Sabbath duty to crash through these obstacles.

“…there are certain things that will stand between us and the fellowship that in turn leads to joy. First of all, there is sin—unrighteousness….If we recognize and confess sin, then there is the blood that cleanses, and God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1 John 1:7,9). The second hindrance that John talks about in 1 John 2:3 is lack of love for the brethren….You lose contact with the brethren, and you lose contact with God…The third hindrance is a love of the world,…You cannot mix light and darkness. The last thing that interrupts fellowship with God, he tells us at the end of 1 John 2, is false teaching about the person of Jesus Christ. Obviously if the only way to God is through Christ, if I am in any way wrong about my teaching or doctrine concerning Him, then automatically I sever the communion, and again I lose my joy” Marytn Lloyd-Jones, (ref#189, Sept 18th).

SUPPLICATION

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GENERAL TRIBULATION

[We all can think of a Christian sister or brother experiencing so much affliction they may not be able to pray for themselves. Here’s an opportunity to pray for them. Fill their name in the blanks.]

GOD’S CARE AND DAILY PROVISION

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 6.22.01 PM…FATHER, ____ is suffering and in (his/her) afflictions it is difficult, if not impossible, to see Your constant underlying provisions. Swing ____’s eyes off the conflict and onto Your Son. (I realize this is a supernatural request.)

“It will be well with the righteous….he is well fed; he feeds upon the flesh and blood of Jesus. He is well clothed; he wears the imputed righteousness of Christ. He is well housed; he dwells in God. He is well married; his soul is joined in the bonds of marriage union to Christ. He is well provided for; the Lord is his Shepherd. He is well endowed; heaven is his inheritance. It is well with the righteous…” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, April 14th PM).

Move ____ to believe You, FATHER, more than (his/her) eyes and feelings tell (him/her). Help (him/her) throw (his/her) entire dependence on Your goodwill. Praise You for allowing ____ the opportunity to recognize Your hourly dependence by permitting (him/her) to pray daily. Teach (him/her) to pray often so (he/she) can recognize Your constant love.

“Oh how rich is the grace that supplies us so continually and does not refrain itself because of our ingratitude” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, July 16th AM). “When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows” Ann Voskamp (ref#130, p58). FATHER, favor ____ with the ability to turn (his/her) thoughts toward You for the purpose of giving You thanks for Your provisions.

THANKSGIVING

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PSALM 50:16-23

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 6.16.01 PMTo the Mighty One, God the LORD, who speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to its going down (Ps 50:1), I offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to glorify You (Ps 50:23).

When I was a faux Christian I passed over thanking You, for I needed no one but myself to act like a Christian. I even spoke of You affectionately believing You helped me succeed in Christian activities. But, I was an island—myself all-sufficient, creating You in my own image.

I read Ps 50:16-17 many times. It says, “But to the wicked God says: “What right have you to recite my statutes or take my covenant on your lips? For you hate discipline, and you cast my words behind you” (Ps 50:16-17 ESV). I was not influenced by the words for I did not consider myself wicked. I didn’t know I cast Your words behind me; I didn’t hate discipline, for I didn’t think I needed it.

In my sufficiency it was quite easy to forget You all together (Ps 50:22), let alone think of giving You thanks.

But, now my sacrifice is thanksgiving. I thank You for all Your grace and mercy that You may glorify Yourself through me. I thank You from a heart truly and deeply affected with Your mercies and for a life continually being made well-pleasing to You (ref#112, p82, [Ps 50:14]).

May all my thanksgivings give You the honor that You require and prize (ref#112, p83, [Ps 50:23]). FATHER, keep me from idols—the idol of independency void of thanksgiving.

CONFESSION

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SPIRIT CHECK

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 6.01.39 PM“Let me faithfully study my character, be willing to bring it to light, observe myself in my trials, judge the reality and degree of my grace, consider how I have been ensnared or overcome” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p84).

FATHER, “sin is…my viper born in my birth, alive all my life, strong in my character, dominating my faculties, following me as a shadow, intermingling with my every thought…” (ref#76, p41). I recognize it is only Your compassion that I am not consumed (ref#76, p39). Therefore I wish to be searched to find and confess the wicked ways in me (Ps 139:23-24).

  • Have I flattered You, FATHER, with only my lips (ref# 76, p39)?
  • Do I set before myself some pleasure or profit or even striving for Your acceptance (ref#35, p150)?
  • Do You live in my thoughts (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I covet by hoarding, improvidently squander, and not consecrate everything to You (ref#76, p87)?
  • Do I go this way then that with various thoughts and ways, dreaming in my imaginations (ref#35, p150)?
  • Do I resist “rebukes of conscience, admonitions of friends, leadings of providence” (ref#76, p192)?
  • Am I settled yet experiencing peace and resting in Your “assurance of everlasting blessedness” (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I ungratefully receive Your benefits—forgetting to praise and thank You (ref#76, p192)?
  • Have I really found CHRIST who will never grieve or trouble me (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do I misuse my faculties, neglect opportunities, use words ill-advised (ref#76, p180)?
  • Do I really know You in Your “excellency and desirableness” (ref#35, p151)?
  • Do You have Your due place in my heart (ref#35, p151)?
  • Are You my all in all (ref#35, p151)?

“I repent of my folly and inconsiderate ways, my broken resolutions, untrue service, my backsliding steps, my vain thoughts” (ref#76, p180).

ADORATION

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COMFORTS OF THE SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.51.07 PM…FATHER, the SPIRIT is my Comforter—comforting me as I become aware of my sin. Without the SPIRIT, satan and the law could accuse me of being an object of Your hatred because I am always sinning. But the SPIRIT bears witness with my spirit that I am Your child (Rom 8:16). Afflictions, too, would become overwhelming and I’d learn to despise hard times if it was not for the SPIRIT convincing me of Your good reasons for such circumstances (ref#35, p408).

The SPIRIT also comforts in the whole course of my obedience. Without the consolations of the SPIRIT, Christian duties would puff me up with pride. Prosperity would make me carnal and sensual and weaken me when adverse trials come. I would not be interested in the church’s problems or successes (ref#35, p408). On my own I would find no need to lean on You.

Without the SPIRIT’s intervention within, I “shall have wisdom for no work, peace in no condition, strength for no duty, success in no trial, joy in no state—no comfort in life, no light in death.” John Owen (ref#35, p 408) FATHER, I am able to continue in this world because the SPIRIT comforts me by Your love.

“Be pleased to live and move within me, breathing in my prayers, inhabiting my praises, speaking in my words, moving in my actions, living in my life, causing me to grow in grace” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p160).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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TAKING A TIMEOUT

3/29/2016

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 5.46.35 PMThe absolute last-resort activity when I’m about to lose it is reading. If I rushed past reading I’d run out the door and keep running until I moved myself right out of society. I would make a total fool of myself and have to apologize to many many people if I cared to reenter the civilized world. People would never look at me the same but they would forgive me. I know. I did the above once and I had to apologize to eleven people. It was a long long ago and I have moved on in the world convinced that people have forgotten my actions and me.

Through my long life GOD has been quite merciful to me by giving me the desires of my heart that mainly has included creating objects to glorify Him. I have been always busy and have had only fleeting moments of boredom.

But I have been in this situation perhaps a month now where I am nearing the end of one project and have a specific project in mind for the next. Even though GOD is stringing me along with ideas here and there, the ideas are not creating a whole. I feel fragmented—even tossed and turned. As each day goes by I feel more desperate for a conclusion and a starting place for this next project.

Writers block is when one faces a blank page. I feel a blank page in front of me but it is not a white blank page but a black page. The enemy craftily puts in front of me the image of complete darkness where I am commissioned to do nothing.

That fear was with me when I woke up this morning. However I finally got out of bed by deciding I needed to practice to perfection my upcoming piano lesson piece. I figured I could at least do that. NOT.

I couldn’t count the intro right. That’s when I turned off the keyboard and went to the back of the house to find something to read. The book that won out was my devotional. It starts out with “Notes” which don’t pertain anymore to the devotional, but my eyes fell on that page:

Through experience, when the SPIRIT is present everything is spiritual; I find joy in everything I read in this devotional. But some days I find, and you the reader will find, these prayers just lie flat on the page and are no help or worse they seem hypocritical, self-righteous, and pious. If this is the case know that you have stepped away from the SPIRIT.

Don’t go any further in reading. You need a “timeout”—time to get yourself again willing to submit to GOD. When that time comes (for me that could be hours) go before GOD and honestly discuss your feelings. You need to repent—ask forgiveness for your attitude—attest to Him that you approve of what He is doing in your life—beg Him to bring joy into your heart again. In other words, be right with GOD, and these prayers will always be a pleasure to pray.

It’s easy to forget the LORD shall do whatever pleases Him and we are responsible to act in support of Him.

I took a timeout. After crying a bit before my GOD, He suggested I scrap the written intro to the song and compose a new one for my piano lesson piece. I’m about to go back to practicing again but, GOD needs credit for He has opened my eyes once again in the valley and given me a path to take to the mountaintop.

I know I will learn the piano song. And also I know GOD will lighten my darkness. He is teaching me to wait for Him. Something I have done very little of in my life and know I don’t handle waiting well.

How I praise Him for encouraging me when I am about to crash myself. He knows just how much I can take from the enemy and from my weak flesh. I am going to make it to the end because He wills it. And, I may even someday be a happy clam satisfying the desires of my heart once again with a new project.