JOURNALING

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10/7/2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-10 at 12.48.12 PMGOD always takes me to the mountaintop but He might go for days before He reveals the specific valley truths from whence I came.

For instance, I recently sat in a familiar valley of judging-myself-lacking. I have long since concluded I like staying in my house and don’t like doing anything outside of it.

With that backdrop my longing to be a better witness never finds fulfillment because how can I share CHRIST if I resist leaving my house? Many times I have stated to others that I love people but I hate being social. I have truly believed both parts of that statement.

Yesterday the SPIRIT prompted me to review what I had just experienced in the grocery store. We recently changed stores so the check-out lady was new to me. I engaged her in surface-level conversation with the goal of establishing a relationship so as to open future spiritual conversation.

Was it hard and difficult? No. Did I enjoy it? Yes, because she responded in conversation.

So, yesterday I enjoyed being out of the house. This thought made me think of similar past experiences. Conclusion. I don’t dislike talking to people; I enjoy it when they seem to enjoy what I have to say. Connecting is actually quite rewarding now that I think about it.

But, then, of course, I’ve had conversations that didn’t go well. Ah, that’s another subject for later (possibly Monday’s journal entry).

But, to end this subject, I conclude my long-standing thought of myself just fell apart. I do like to socialize when the conversation goes well, and particularly when it turns spiritual. I can no longer pin “antisocial” on my chest.

FATHER, thank You for Your mountaintop revelation. I realize it will take a new habit to change my antisocial thinking so I ask for Your help. I thank You for the ability to journal. Please prod me to read over this entry often. How I love Your kind influence in my life!

SUPPLICATION

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TO OVERCOME

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 9.13.44 PM“But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me” (Mic 7:7-8 NRSV).

 FATHER, our natural inclination is to be spared from trouble. But, in Your wisdom, You give us troubling situations to deliver us in trouble. No evil can harm us when we’re at one with You no matter what situation You have us in (ref#7, Aug 2nd).

“God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Aug 2nd).

FATHER, empower ____ to accept the hard situations; compel (him/her), by faith, to defer to Your strength. Even anticipating hard situations wears ____ out physically, but if (he/she) spends (himself/herself) spiritually (he/she) will get more strength. You give strength minute by minute (ref#7, Aug 2nd).

“To deny oneself is to be aware only of Christ and no more of self, to see only him who goes before and no more the road which is too hard…” Dietrich Bonhoeffer (ref#10, p88).

____ will find You, FATHER, when (he/she) overcomes suffering by suffering. JESUS prayed for the cup to pass from Him (Matt 26:39). It did pass—when He drank it. His suffering passed as he accepted it. “The cross is his triumph over suffering” Dietrich Bonhoeffer (ref#10, p92).

FATHER, how vital for ____ to keep communion with You—to draw near You in hard times for if (he/she) removes (his/her) eye from You even for a moment, (he/she) will succumb to “every dark suggestion of the adversary” Octavius Winslow (ref#61, May 30th). Linked with You, (he/she) overcomes—we overcome—You, LORD, overcome for ____.

THANKSGIVING

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JESUS THE CONQUEROR

“…thanks be to God, Who in Christ always leads us in triumph [as trophies of Christ’s victory]…” (2 Cor 2:14 AMP).

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 8.50.21 PMFATHER, I am on earth for one purpose—to be a captive. “We are here to exhibit one thing—the absolute captivity of our lives to Jesus Christ” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Oct 24th).

I thank You, FATHER, for triumphing over me through CHRIST. He defeats my fallen, evil nature. Contrary to earthly living where to be in the train of a finite man would be the most miserable, but being conquered and being made to walk behind CHRIST is my most glorious lot (ref#17, [2 Cor 2:14]).

“Paul regarded himself as a trophy of God’s victorious power in Christ. His Almighty conqueror was leading him about, through all the world, a sample of His   triumphant power…to subdue and to save” Oswald Chambers (ref#17, [2 Cor 2:14]).

It is my joy that You took me, a rebel and changed me to a captive. Being CHRIST’s captive is my position now in life (ref#7, Oct 24th). I have no joy that is not connected with CHRIST—no success which I can not trace to Him (ref#16, [2 Cor 2:14]).

“…I am in the train of a conqueror, and it does not matter what the difficulties are, I am always led in triumph” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Oct 24th).

FATHER, I thank You that I have been captured making me able to display the victory of CHRIST.

 

CONFESSION

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CONVICTING SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 8.40.19 PM…FATHER, the discovery of my sin is a part of the wisdom that is hid in CHRIST and made known to me through the SPIRIT (Col 2:2,3). If I am not attentive to the SPIRIT I only have a sense and knowledge of sin that is revealed by my conscience; it is the general knowledge of good and evil. But, it’s obscure so I notice my own faults only if they are very obvious or I sin in such a way that they are particularly embarrassing to me (ref#35, p200).

Familiarizing myself with the laws set down in the Old Testament helps me recognize more of my corruptions. But even laws do nothing to make me see my deep personal sin (ref#35, p202).

The work of conviction, from Your SPIRIT, gives me the best knowledge of sin. This knowledge is so useful that it reveals sins that I, on my own, do not have the ability to detect; these sins must be made real to me by Your SPIRIT—a source not connected with my native nature (ref#35, p202).

I thank You FATHER, for Your SPIRIT’s conviction. I am not offended when I recognize His voice, instead, I’m humbled. He has the ability to convince me of sin in such a way that I’m unable to deny His words and am ready to repent. I thank You, FATHER, that Your SPIRIT not only is able to point out my sins but has the ability to accomplish in me the sorrow for sin which leads me to the obedience You require. So, search me, O GOD, and see if there is any grievous way in me and then lead me in the right way (Ps 139:23-24).

ADORATION

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PRELUDE TO PRAISE

…Prayer Facts:

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 7.26.38 AM“If no answer comes, we are not to…suppose that it is not God’s will to give an answer. No; there must be something in the prayer that is not as God would have it…It is far easier to the flesh to submit without the answer than to yield itself to be searched and purified by the Spirit, until it has learnt to pray the prayer of faith” Andrew Murray (ref#19, FIFTH LESSON).

Reasons for Waiting for GOD:

Because You send the SPIRIT to represent CHRIST and act on His behalf (John 14:26), I will wait for You.

Because the SPIRIT will show me what is true (John 14:17), I will wait for You.

Because the SPIRIT will teach me everything (John 14:26), I will wait for You.

Because the SPIRIT will always be with me and help me (John 14:16), I will wait for

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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DOWNFALL: REVIEWING SINS

…2/16/12

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 8.19.43 PM…Am being reminded lately of some failures in my person that I really would like to become successes. I am missing opportunities to tote CHRIST. I watch my friends take advantage of every opportunity. I’m a little dunce-y—unable to think of anything to say or do. Some friends are really good making me look really bad. What do they think of me?

The old pride is rearing its ugly head—I want to keep up with my friends—at least not be so far behind I’m out of their league. I don’t want to lose them as a friend. I certainly don’t want them to view me as a “project.” This pride pushes me into picking events to share that make me look good. That’s not good.

I need to be more purposeful. But, how can I be when my mind is empty. I see opportunities—lulls in conversation where I could open my mouth—but, searching my mind yields nothing. My corporate prayers are halting and simple—only presentable because I premeditate them.

And, darn, I can’t get down those piano songs. The more I practice the more I make a habit of the mistakes. I feel so far away from my FATHER playing the piano because I can’t hit the right notes. The harder I try the further I am from Him. How can I teach the kids about worship when I’m still stuck in my life-long problem of having to think about the song so I cannot think of the LORD?

Okay, I see what I’m doing—reviewing my flaws—and the enemy is helping me find more than I realize I have. This is the wrong road to go down.

So, forgive me, FATHER, I’m letting my old nature revive and get into my head. CHRIST has rendered my flesh inoperative by His death on the cross. I believe that and will turn my thoughts elsewhere.

I am not who my friends are. Their gifting is different than mine. Dare I say, I’m a writer—self motivated, willing to spend long hours researching, loving every minute of collaborating with You, FATHER. And, for who’s benefit? It doesn’t matter. Behind my desk is my home—my second prayer closet. You are there and this is where You draw me to. Is this not enough to shove flesh back in the grave and laugh when pride tries to talk?

I worship You continually because that is always my desire. Feeling close to You while playing the piano is only something flesh wishes it could accomplish. And, I worship You even when I must put all my concentration on trying to hit the right notes and feel a thousand miles away from You.

SABBATH

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THE DELIGHT OF THE SABBATH

 

…We really would love to have a list of steps to believe, honor and obey GOD (ref#164, Series: The Sabbath, Sermon#2097, “The Delight of the Sabbath” July 18, 1999). Oh, to just apply a list of dos and don’ts…

But, trouble happens when we look for lists. We fall into the category of sacrificing instead of obeying. The LORD desires we see our enjoyment of His blessings through obedience. Sacrifice is not pleasing to Him when we weary ourselves following a list of man-made rules. (1 Samuel 15:22)

God’s Word binds us only to Him and to His Word. We are free in matters of faith and worship from every human directive (from any kind of list).

“We are free from the doctrines and commandments of men” [Westminster Confession of Faith] (ref#164, Series: The Sabbath, Sermon#2097, “The Delight of the Sabbath” July 18, 1999).

CHRIST has purchased the right to be our only Master (ref#164, Series: The Sabbath, Sermon#2097, “The Delight of the Sabbath” July 18, 1999). So we must ask Him directly. We should ask Him every Sabbath what our agenda should be for the day.

SUPPLICATION

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PHYSICAL SICKNESS  Life Threatening

GLORIFYING GOD IN PASSIVE SERVICE

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 1.01.42 PM…FATHER, aid ____ now in glorifying You passively rather than in an active consecration to Your service. Cause (him/her) to flourish in the graces that were perhaps dormant until now. Develop and exercise these spiritual gifts to their utmost capacity.

“Patience is to be cultivated, resignation is to be exhibited, faith is to be exercised, love is to be tried, and example is to be set” Ocatvius Winslow (ref#61, Aug 12th).

Help ____, in (his/her) helplessness. Show Your presence, FATHER, when (his/her) conscience accuses (him/her) of sin or when (his/her) mind is harassed by foreboding thoughts or when (his/her) eyes are held awake by personal anxieties (ref#76, p165). You alone, LORD, will make (him/her) dwell in safety; You alone will give (him/her) peace to lie down and to sleep (Ps 4:8). You have “a balm for every wound, a solace for all anguish, a remedy for every pain, a peace for all disquietude” The Valley of Vision (ref#76, p165).

FATHER, I pray that ____ approach Your throne of grace with confidence, so that (he/she) may receive mercy and find grace to help in (his/her) time of need (Heb 4:16). Open (his/her) eyes to see Your hand in trouble. Prayer is the window that (he/she) will be able to see Your wise ends in trouble. Prayer drives away unbelief, saves from doubt and delivers from vain and foolish questionings E. M. Bounds (ref#64, p54). FATHER, teach ____ to glorify You now passively.

THANKSGIVING

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GOD’S POWER

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 12.38.34 PM… “O the depth of the wealth and wisdom and knowledge of God. How unsearchable are His judgments, and how untraceable the paths He takes…” Kenneth S. Wuest (ref#37, p372,373, [Rom 11:33]).

 FATHER, the book of Nahum declares that You are slow to anger yet great in power (Nahum 1:3). How is it that You see Your enemies yet do not rouse Yourself to wrath but hold Your anger?

Remind me, that Your power is not a power that has to prove itself over and over. It is so great that no challenge comes close to overcoming You. It is Your greatness that brings me grace and goodness (ref#34, Feb 22nd PM).

“When Moses said, ‘I beseech thee, show me thy glory,’ God replied, ‘I will make all my goodness pass before thee’ (Exod 33:18-19). Not, ‘I will make all My power, My majesty, My holiness pass before thee’ but ’I will make all My goodness to the weak, the sinful, and the undeserving pass before thee’… His glory is His grace (Eph 1:6)” Roy and Revel Hession (ref#100, p32).

FATHER, I naturally desire You show Your power—how often have I prayed, “LORD, show everyone how great You are by miraculously healing so and so.” I always want You to exalt Yourself. But isn’t that so “I” can be proud of You? “You are ‘my’ GOD who has great power.” Thus “I” boast and in so doing “I” give myself glory.

“Glory in a man’s eyes is always that which exalts him…God’s glory consists in the very reverse—not so much in His ability to exalt Himself and humble man, but in His willingness to humble Himself for the sake of man; not so much in a mighty display of power that would break in pieces those that oppose Him, but rather in the hiding of that power and the showing of grace to the undeserving when they turn to Him in repentance” Roy and Revel Hession (ref#100, p31,32).

“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isa 57:15 ESV).

GREAT GOD, You are unsearchable in Your judgments and Your paths are untraceable. Yet You make Yourself approachable!

CONFESSION

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DISCIPLESHIP

Screen Shot 2015-09-23 at 12.23.55 PMALL-WISE FATHER, I do not need to know how to disciple others. I only need to know how to be a disciple myself. My life lived out teaches others of what it is to be a disciple.

“Our Lord makes a disciple His own possession, He becomes responsible for him….The spirit that comes in is not that of doing anything for Jesus, but of being a perfect delight to Him” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Sept 4th).

“…the only men and women He will use…are those who love Him personally, passionately and devotedly beyond any of the closest ties on earth” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, May 7th).

FATHER, forgive me for not taking seriously enough Your constraint on me as CHRIST’s disciple. Let me put my energies toward exclusively becoming personally, passionately and devotedly yielded to CHRIST. May I desire not to rejoice in successful service, but rejoice that I’m rightly related to CHRIST (ref#7, Oct 27th).

JESUS said, “…’All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go…and make disciples…” (Matt 28:18-19 ESV). Do I believe that when I “go” JESUS does the work of making disciples? This is my challenge. If I believe “that people are difficult to get saved, that backsliders are difficult to reclaim,…” Oswald Chambers (ref#7, Oct 27th) it is because I have commissioned myself with my natural talents to make disciples.

Making a relationship with You, LORD, is my work. And, relationship-making is difficult work. Because I desire such a relationship, satan may no longer tempt me to simply do wrong things.

Instead, his temptations will be along the same line that he tempted JESUS. His temptations will be crafted toward separating You from me. He hopes to discourage me so I give up on all the grace You have put into me (ref#7, Sept 18th). Satan attempts to keep me from being obedient to You. He wants me to cease being Your disciple (ref#7, Sept 18th). Therefore, FATHER, enlarge my desire to muse on CHRIST and enjoy His presence above all.