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CONFESSION

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REFLECTIONS ON CHRIST

Screen Shot 2015-11-05 at 3.03.10 PMFATHER, my eyes are on CHRIST for “…my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly]…” (Phil 3:10 AMP).

FATHER, do not let me lose sight of my determined purpose. I gladly review the Glorious CHRIST through Your word.

CHRIST, You are gentle and humble in heart (Matt 11:29) and yet You overcome the world (John 16:33). You reflect the glory of Your FATHER and bear the very stamp of His nature; You uphold the universe by Your word of power (Heb 1:3) and yet You live and make Your home in me (1 John 3:24).

FATHER, in the face of JESUS CHRIST, Your glory is seen (2 Cor 4:6), yet CHRIST bears my grief and carries my sorrows (Isa 53:4). In Him all Your fullness dwells (Col 1:19), yet CHRIST personally rescues me and draws me to Himself, investing me with all the privileges of a new life in Him (1 Thes 1:10).

When CHRIST walked this earth, FATHER, He found that in Your presence, was fullness of joy and at Your right hand were pleasures forevermore (Ps 16:11). I desire fellowship with JESUS so that I may experience His joy of You fulfilled in myself. I want to comprehend CHRIST’s delight complete in me. Oh, that His joy may be perfected in my soul—that I may have His gladness filling my heart (John 17:13)

CHRIST is Your power working, FATHER, thus I have a personal trust springing from faith and leading to faith (Rom 1:16,17). Thank You for CHRIST Who is the Author and Perfecter of faith (Heb 12:2). Thank You for CHRIST Who enables me to move along in this world as He, Himself, did—from faith to faith.

ADORATION

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“[God is a Spirit] this is one of the first, the greatest, the most sublime, and necessary truths in the compass of nature! There is a God, the cause of all things—the fountain of all perfection—without parts or dimensions, for he is ETERNAL—filling the heavens and the earth—pervading, governing, and upholding all things: for he is an infinite SPIRIT” Adam Clarke’s Commentary (ref#15, [John 4:24])!

GOD IS MY SALVATION

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-05 at 2.47.34 PMOf old You laid the foundation of the earth,

and the heavens are the work of Your hands.

They will perish, but You will endure;

they will grow old, but Your years will have no end (Ps 102:25-27).

 

Before the mountains were brought forth,

or ever You had formed the earth,

even from everlasting to everlasting,

You are God (Ps 90:2).

 

You are the Rock, Your work is perfect;

for all Your ways are just,

a God of truth, without iniquity—

righteous and upright are You (Deut 32:4).

 

Behold, You are my salvation,

I will trust and not be afraid;

yes, the LORD, is my strength and song;

You also have become my salvation (Isa 12:2).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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THE BENEFITS OF SINNING

3/24/15

Screen Shot 2015-11-05 at 2.37.38 PMWell, I need to write this. Maybe I can get it out of my system so I can go back to bed and sleep.

The situation was something difficult for me; I knew I didn’t have the talent to preform it well. So, I practiced—and practiced, setting everything up in a way that I could get through the morning.

But, I wasn’t directing the morning. Immediately there were events that I didn’t anticipate. By the time the second change happened, I lost all confidence in getting through the situation successfully.

How I had prayed that GOD would be glorified. How I wanted to lose myself in the task and enjoy His presence. But all thought of GOD crumbled when I knew I was going to fail at what I committed myself to.

Because I knew I was going to showcase my failure in front of 50 or so people I was panicked—numb, unable to think straight. I wanted to concentrate and memorize the changes in the situation so I would not fail so badly, but my panic would not let me. The little bit of thought panic allowed, was my realization I was crashing into the self-pity pit.

You know sometimes you think you can hide your feelings. Well, I knew I wasn’t hiding my feelings. Everyone around me knew I was out of sorts. My lousy attitude even incited a friend to speak cross words to me. All I wanted to do was run out the door but pride caused me to set my jaw and go through the situation.

But, wonders of wonders. Me, totally sucked into deep sin, experienced GOD blessing people through my wickedness. Thank You, FATHER!

Thirty some hours later now, the SPIRIT has pointed out many sins. And, He probably still isn’t done. I am so anxious to get to tomorrow so I can see my friend and ask her to forgive my bad attitude.

And, what have I learned from all this?—that I fall into sin and will always fall into sin. The prince of this world can dupe me. But, thank You, FATHER, You use my ugliness to move me toward holiness.

If I had not sinned, and the SPIRIT had not convicted me, I would not be now begging to come into Your presence to be healed. All these little incidents of failure, I pray, teach me to come into Your presence sooner and sooner.

 

SUPPLICATION

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KEEPING THE SABBATH

Screen Shot 2015-10-28 at 4.21.23 PMFATHER, I pray for ____ to guard (his/her) Sabbaths. Sometimes without knowing, the world, satan, and (his/her) own flesh succeed at turning everything gray. There is no way (he/she) can comprehend the dullness until (he/she) sits before You during (his/her) Sabbath.

FATHER, make ____ realize, as You commune with (him/her), how weak (he/she) has become living the last six days in the world, them pour into (him/her) the strength (he/she) will need for the next six days.   Being in Your presence not only allows ____ to let go of the week prior but also energizes (him/her) for the next.

No one recognizes burnout until they are burned out. So alert ____ to (his/her) desperate need for more strength—strength needed to joyously obey You that can only be provided by the HOLY SPIRIT. Draw (him/her) into Your rest as (he/she) settles in to waiting in Your presence. Only in waiting before You can (he/she) compare (his/her) weak present condition with the joyous strength You are able to infuse in (him/her).

You are very serious about demanding Sabbath-keeping (Ex 31:14) for You know how harmful not keeping it is. On the Sabbath, FATHER, do not let ____ settle for just resting (his/her) body or satisfying (himself/herself) with a diversion from (his/her) work (Isa 58:13). Don’t let (him/her) even be content to learn more of You or worship You.

In Your presence is fullness of joy (Ps 16:11). Give ____ the knowing that (he/she) will have all (he/she) needs for the coming week so (he/she) may rejoice in Your provision. Draw (him/her), LORD, into keeping the Sabbath. For joy in You is (his/her) strength (Neh 8:10).

THANKSGIVING

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TRUSTING IN HOLY SPIRIT

Screen Shot 2015-10-28 at 4.09.32 PM“He breathes the mind and life of Christ in me, so that I live as He did, in and for the Father’s love” Andrew Murray (ref#19, SEVENTH LESSON).

“…I trust the Holy Spirit. He has begun to deliver me from my innate sins, and I trust Him to drive them all out. I trust Him to curb my temper, to subdue my will, to enlighten my understanding, to check my passions, to comfort my despondency, to help my weakness, to illuminate my darkness. I trust Him to dwell in me as my life; to reign in me as my King; to sanctify me wholly, spirit, soul, and body; and to take me up to dwell with the ‘saints in light’ (Col 1:12) forever” Charles Spurgeon (ref#34, Oct 7th PM).

FATHER, thank You that the SPIRIT abides with me forever—permanently—even though I may not be sensible to His presence—even though He may withhold His comfort or suspend His influence for a while when I am walking carelessly. He may even permit indwelling corruptions for a moment but even when He breaks my heart, He always binds it up. He may fill me with godly grief but then thanksgiving (ref#61, Aug 26th). SPIRIT, thank You; I rely on You.

ADORATION

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UNEXAMPLED

Screen Shot 2015-10-28 at 3.48.02 PMFATHER, You are full of splendor

Your works are majestic (Ps 111:3).

You are exceptional, remarkable, special—

altogether extraordinary (ref#110, p482).

 

Because You are renowned

and greatly, oh so greatly famous (ref#110, p1137),

I ascribe to You,

glory and strength (Ps 29:1).

 

You are unexampled and unprecedented,

having no parallel (ref#110, p1457),

being wonderful, marvelous, amazing (ref#110, p1536),

and having exceptional merit (ref#110, p473).

 

You are incredible, splendid, supreme,

causing me astonishment (ref#110, p831),

excellent and outstanding (ref#110, p473)…

I ascribe to You glory (Ps 29:1).

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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PUZZLE PIECES ON THE CHANDELIER

5/19/14

Screen Shot 2015-10-24 at 5.03.57 PMYesterday was much worse than I anticipated. I knew it would be frustrating but not overwhelming.

I was up at 5AM anxious to start learning my new computer. (It was an absolute necessity to replace the old one if I was to continue writing my book.) But the trouble began Sunday when I picked up the new computer from the Geek Squad. They reminded me of a car dealership. Great relationship to sell, then contemptible service. I took it home thinking I would just learn everything by Internet video tutorials.

So, back to 5AM yesterday—by 6AM I had the computer so messed up it wouldn’t even turn off. Then I went off to visit my cell phone provider to get my email working. But, they couldn’t help with that. Called my Internet service provider – they didn’t help either. Each blamed the other. Oh, yes, now I remember about computers, service providers and tech people!

I had had enough. I walked away and went to working on a jigsaw puzzle. But my mind had not walked away and suddenly the puzzle pieces were scattered around the room and I was screaming, “Ok devil, you win.” I determined right then and there to return the computer and never touch another one again.

As I laid in bed sobbing, I realized that if I had to disband working on the book there was nothing I could turn to to occupy my time. That was the only thing I presently lived for! Desperate is too mild a word. GOD was quiet. The devil kept bombarding me. I did go pick up the puzzle pieces but cried the rest of the day.

So, maybe GOD wants me to stop spending time on the book. I’ve been enjoying doing it, maybe I’m doing it just for my benefit—you know, working for GOD with my own efforts. Should I return the computer and sit on my doorstep waiting for GOD to tell me what to do next?

I went to bed not hearing a peep out of GOD. I only determined I would hold off the rash decision to return the computer. I would get through this transition by pure grit. After all, I kept reminding myself that my plans were to take the month of June off from writing and just learn the new computer.

Truly, I was disappointed I had heard nothing from GOD. But, His silence did not shake me. I knew I still and always will stand on His strong foundation and nothing can remove me—even losing my head over a stupid computer.

By the end of the day yesterday I had a list of questions for the Geek Squad. So I have made an appointment to see them this afternoon. And now, waiting for time for the appointment I sat down to enjoy an Oswald Chambers book—“Still Higher for His Highest.”

GOD spoke—in His time, He spoke. Imagine that! I am not doing this book for my satisfaction. My heart is His. Has He not brought me into a “vivid, personal, overmastering relationship to Jesus Christ” (ref#157, Jan 9th)? I have given my life to GOD, no wonder I could not think yesterday of one other thing to do but book writing. I don’t think about satisfying myself. In 10 pages of reading Chamber’s book, GOD has addressed every accusation the devil made to me yesterday and proven his lies.

Oh, how difficult this world is but how sweet GOD’s truth is when He chooses the perfect time I need to hear it. He isn’t silent, but speaks encouragement to me exactly at the right time. Do I praise Him, or what?

SUPPLICATION

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GOD’S PURSUIT

Screen Shot 2015-10-22 at 4.54.47 PMFATHER, Your love and patience toward each of us stretches over the entire expanse of our lives. I especially can’t fathom Your constant persistent efforts to pour out Your love on ____ who presently is resisting You.

The efforts You use to call ____ to respond to You, to name a few, are:

  • The magnificence of Your creation
  • Your providences of mercy (like providing food)
  • (His/Her) natural conscience
  • The Gospel You have explained in Your Bible (ref#61, Dec. 13th)

All these gestures toward ____ in love can be, day by day, always resisted. It saddens me to think of all Your many, constant, efforts to pursue ____and all (his/her) efforts to resist. This sadness drives me to pray. Unless You work “in people’s hearts to make the proclamation of the gospel effective, there will be no genuine saving response” (ref#63, p693).

Even though You have decided before we were born who will accept Your calling, Your called ones must voluntarily make a commitment to You. You will save no one “apart from their own willing response to the gospel” (ref#63, p693).

Thus my prayer becomes two-part. I pray for Your move, FATHER, and I pray that ____ take the responsibility to accept what You call (him/her) to.

VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

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DISHWASHER FAILURE

2/9/10

Screen Shot 2015-10-24 at 4.47.20 PMThere was nothing left to do but throw a tantrum. I had done my out-loud yelling at myself to no avail. In my exhausted state, heart beating in my ears and eyes crossing, I had only one more task to complete before I could fall into bed. Starting the dishwasher would finish my care-giving obligations and I’d be going home tomorrow. But the dishwasher didn’t start.

“Just let me finish this one thing.” The least I can do is work. Seems I’ve failed at everything else. But, no. So I threw myself into bed and slapped the covers over my head.

I had come to Ohio praying desperately to keep my mind on CHRIST. I had never succeeded keeping my mind on CHRIST while care giving. So, through the years, that had become my Ohio-bound goal.

But, there breathing the stale air under the covers, I admitted to myself this time that I had been more of a failure than ever before.

So, instead of enjoying a step toward Christlikeness, I fell on my face with failure—again. But, it was not just another failure. There was finality about it. In my honesty, I conceded I would never be able to move forward in CHRIST—certainly not in a care-giving situation.

I grew up in the church; therefore I don’t have a memory of a precise time of my salvation. Did I ever really accept CHRIST or have I been all these years just pretending I’m a Christian?

2/10/10

Well, I did get my face out of the covers and am home now. So, let me type in some notes I took during the weeks of care-giving:

“Does not GOD keep the drowning waters just below our noses? Is there anyone who can cling to victory more than fleeting moments? How often did King David break out in praise to His GOD? Yes, the Psalms are full of His praises, but what was his life like between the times he took up his pen to write?”

At my desk now, a little more under control, I recall King David’s life history recorded in I Chronicles and I and II Samuel. He went through similar circumstances as my care giving. He failed in many situations but this is what You, LORD say of David:

“…I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart,…” (Acts 13:22 ESV).

Oh…!

This is me, too! You love me, FATHER, and my heart loves You!!

Don’t I wish I had read that yesterday? I would have identified with King David—in his failures—in his praises.

FATHER, please, I don’t want to ever be so dejected as yesterday. Thank You for placing in Your Word a few of David’s Psalms that starts with his struggles and end in his praise to You. You do keep the drowning-water just below our noses so we can cast off our efforts and cling to You.

“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

 “Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

 “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me” (Psalm 13:1-6, ESV).

SABBATH

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SABBATH

“The believer…keeps the law of God, not believing by keeping it we gain acceptance or approval with God, but rather we keep God’s law as a declaration of our grateful response to His love” Alistair Begg (ref#164, Series: Pathway to Freedom, Sermon#: 1692, “Holy Day or Holiday?” Part One, Oct 31, 1993).

THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy” (Exodus 20:8 NASB).

We must have an internal conviction about keeping this commandment. And the convincing reason is the joy we gain in the LORD’s fellowship (ref#164, Series: Pathway to Freedom, Sermon#: 1692, “Holy Day or Holiday?” Part One, Oct 31, 1993).

Remember an experience with someone where the interaction with him or her eclipsed all thought of your personal work or leisure. Recall the fellowship, love and joy of the occasion.

This is why GOD established the Sabbath—to give us a holiday to be together with Him. Enjoy this holiday.