VALLEYS TO MOUNTAINTOPS

I HAVE FALLEN TO INDEPENDENCY

10/26/12

Screen Shot 2016-01-13 at 1.49.25 PMFATHER, I woke up frightened about what I was thinking. “I can’t wait for You, FATHER. It’s foreign to me, I don’t know how.” I was in panic mode facing another week of care-giving.

I am so vulnerable now—trying to get my footing on the Rock but knowing I don’t have the wherewithal. Re-reading a couple entries of my years-ago journal I find I’m in the same place I was many times before. This did not help my panic, however, at breakfast I read, “…By ourselves we will not be able…” (Neh 4:10 ESV) and considered my condition.

As changeable as I am I do not change. Some days I’m for You, some days I’m against You and You, the Unchangable GOD, will continue to fulfill Your promise—to draw me back. So it is that You have created me to fall away from You and I do it well. It is not so much sinning that causes me to fall away; I just fall away. You have created me with such a nature to be dependent on You (ref#5, p40).

I am as Joshua in filthy garments standing before You with satan beside me accusing me. But You say, “Remove the filthy garments from him, I will clothe him with pure vestments” (Zech 3:1-4). And this unchangeable act You do for me as many times as I fall away from You. I do not change by being changeable. You do not change by being unchangeable.

Under the direction of Nehemiah, the people rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem knew they would not be able. But Nehemiah reminded them not to be afraid, to remember the LORD who is great and awesome and who would fight for them (Neh 4:14,20).

PROMISE-KEEPING, UNCHANGEABLE GOD, as changeable as I am You will always draw me back; You will never stop fighting for me. This is why You made me changeable so You can showcase Your unchangeableness.

 

You have brought me, GREAT FATHER again,

To stand before You in filthy garments.

Created to be dependant, LORD,

I have fallen into independency…independent.

 

By myself I am unable.

Unable… unable…

By myself I am unable.

Fallen in my independency…

 

But, You…

But, You…

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