A SUNDAY EXPERIENCE
Two days ago I sat in Sunday school about this time of day and tried my best to let go and let GOD. I had just finished practicing with the worship team. Too much of the time I had to scramble to get the right chord played. The sounds in my ears at church are always so different than at home practicing. It frazzled me just enough that I hesitated, looked at my hands, lost track of where I was in the music, and didn’t get the chord played right much of the time. Figured I could muddle through the service without disturbing anyone’s worship but I was hoping for more.
Sunday school sandwiched practice and church so I sat listening and praying—listening to the teacher talk about depending on the HOLY SPIRIT and praying I’d depend on Him next hour. The request to my FATHER was to relax and to let the SPIRIT lift me into irrepressible joy.
It didn’t happen.
Today I realize my prayer reflected my sinful nature. I so wanted an enjoyable experience—the experience of playing well and feeling the touch of the SPIRIT. But, GOD did not answer that prayer request. (I now see His wisdom and praise Him.)
If He would have answered the way I wanted I would have had only a temporary joy that would have faded quickly. Instead, He gave me failure and has prompted me to sit here today and write this journal entry.
He first addressed my yet unanswered prayer request with a quote from my morning devotional:
“…A man worships God in spirit, when, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, he brings all his affections, appetites, and desires to the throne of God; and he worships him in truth, when every purpose and passion of his heart, and when every act of his religious worship, is guided and regulated by the word of God” Adam Clarke’s Commentary (ref#15, [John 4:24]).
Spiritually I’m okay. I worship in SPIRIT and truth. Did not GOD confirm it when someone in Sunday school quoted the two greatest commandments? I do love GOD with all my heart and there is nothing more important to me than the spiritual welfare of others. Just because I could not recognize or feel the HOLY SPIRIT when I played with the worship team doesn’t mean I’ve failed to worship in the SPIRIT.
What I need to do is get better at piano and not judge myself spiritually. How clearly I see now that my idea of worshipping in the SPIRIT was just desiring a good feeling and not desiring the GOD of the HOLY SPIRIT at all.
And, as far as relaxing and enjoying playing with the worship team…maybe it will come as I experience more piano practice and more worship team participation but it is enough that I find joy today in the revelation of my GOD through this entry.
So two things to remember: GOD has made me a new creature. I will bring forth new creature spiritual fruit. I don’t have to worry about doing the right things spiritually as long as I continually humble myself before GOD. The second thing to remember is to continue practicing piano and to be a part of the worship team any chance I get. Oh thank You, FATHER, for Your delayed answered prayer.